04/03/19 E83 Your Relationship with Fear

What are you afraid of? Today the guys are talking mind hacking as they tackle that most primitive of emotions: fear. How can you turn your relationship with fear into something healthy?

How our fears can control us.

Your personality is the sum total of your thoughts.

How our mind magnifies the things we think about the most.

Fear and love: two sides of the same coin.

Aside from injury and death, what is the most common fear?

Fear and survival of the primitive mind.

4 ways to use your fears to get what you want.

And accepting the fear challenge! (Master your fears)

One thing you should be afraid of right now is missing out on this next session of Fasted State! Less than one week to reserve your spot! Go to biofitcoaching.com/fast today!

Don't forget to stock up on stak! Two pills a day is all it takes to feel good again. bioStak.com

And as always, if you have any questions on this episode (or any questions in general) don’t hesitate to reach out to us at bioteam@biofitcoaching.com, or submit a question on www.lifeinketosispodcast.com

And if you’re interested in starting your own journey, you can find out more information at biofitcoaching.com or on Instagram @biofit_coaching

 


Transcript:

Chad: 00:00 And so we developed this fear of rejection. If my clan rejects me, I will not survive, which is just no longer the case, right? You will survive. You will still eat, you will still have shelter, you will still have all of these things and most likely not everyone is going to reject you. We get so hyper focused on one person. This one person rejects us, we will die. And the reality is, is that that person is one of a hundred people in our lives. They say a journey begins in a single step, or in my case, one less piece of bread.

Chad: 00:45 My Name's Chad and I'm a seeker. I have sought out an expert in the field of nutrition and fitness who I hoped would help me feel well better. They call him the bio hacker, but I call him Eric. I hope you'll join me in a path that leads you and I to optimal fitness, the body and the mind as we live our life in ketosis. This is the life and Ketosis podcast, uh, biohackers guide to optimal body performance.

Chad: 01:18 Hello everyone. My name is Chad and this is my quest to achieving the healthy state of being with the man that can get me there. My mentor and cohost, he is the science to my regular guy. The extreme testing to my, I'll take your word for it, the biohacker himself, Mr Eric Bischof. Somewhere along this journey of ours, I realized that feeling better is really one part physical and another part mental and both are needed to achieve the optimal state of being what I call keto, happiness or ketosiness. And today we're talking a little bit about fear and not just fear, but how what we fear can run us. And uh, that may sound a little bit vague, but we're going to dive into it. I'm going to talk a lot about it, that my favorite part of this conversation, Eric, is in the end we're going to talk about four ways to befriend and use our fears to get what we want. How does that sound

Eric: 02:12 fearful? I hate this subject. I really, when I got your notes, finally I did. I didn't, I just saw you're doing it on fear. And I said, all right, I'm just going to go with it because I know where he's going with this. And I, it just makes me not fear. It's real and it's due. But de habilitated to me,

Chad: 02:38 my hope is, and I say this a lot at the beginning of the, of the podcasts that I, uh, topics that I host is, I hope people will stick with me because at the end of this conversation, just like, well, just like you, I think a lot of people are approaching this conversation thinking, I don't want to hear somebody talk about fear. Like it's something that we deal, deal with. It's something that we tend to avoid. Um, and we just really don't want to hear much about it. Um, my hope is at the end of this conversation, you and everybody listening look at fear in a very different way. Um, and it's, it's a total reframe on what fear is and why we actually need it. It's, it's one of our greatest assets. Um, so, but before we do that, how are you doing?

Eric: 03:25 Pretty good. Doing good. Um, it was always just doing my thing. Every day I read, I study, I train, you know, family time and everything out of him, you know, through all this stuff. You're coaching is great because I'm actually starting to spread my time out better and prioritize better and kind of spread it out a little bit. Yeah.

Chad: 03:49 So awesome. It's been really good for me. Oh, we have a couple of items of business to take care of too. Before we dive in, we have some exciting things coming up. We've been talking about him for a couple of weeks now. Uh, the first one is we're going to get to meet some people in person, not behind these microphones at the keto Salt Lake Conference. keto keto slash low carbs, Salt Lake Conference. You can go to keto, Salt lake.com and register for the keto Salt Lake Conference. It's April 26th through the 27th [inaudible]. Eric and I are going to be there. We're going to be doing some pushups. We're going to be answering some questions and I think there's even going to be some cookies from the keto kitchen. Is that right? Cooking. Yes. Ketosis kitchen.

Eric: 04:37 Yeah. We're just going to make, we're have a one type of cookie and yeah, it and it tastes pretty good there. The drops. So, um, you're good. No, no. I like I'm in and, and we've tweaked them enough to where they taste pretty good and say, well we'll have some fun pushup contest for those that want to jump in for some prizes and things like that. Um, there'll be a lot of fun. That'd be fun to meet people. Yeah.

Chad: 05:00 People should know. Um, our chef in the cooking and ketosis kitchen is Laura who is Eric's twin sister and she is brilliant in the kitchen and has focused her efforts and her talents on keto cooking. Just experimenting. I mean, how often Eric is she just have a kitchen full of stuff that she's experimenting with

Eric: 05:24 as you saw on the, as you know, we did the, uh, all the meal preps, those 52 meals and seven different types of, of a freezer meals, all keto, perfect macros, everything good. She worked really hard to tweak them to taste really good. So we're just gonna, we're finishing up all the recipes. We'll get those on, you know, on Instagram, etc. For for everybody. But if you didn't see it, get look on Instagram, @keto.biohacker you'll see some pictures and things like that if the meals, but, and they taste really, I have them in my freezer and um, just an easy way to grab and go, you know, to work for your lunch or your dinner and everybody's on the go. And you stack your freezer full of these seven different types of a nutritious macro keto meals. They're, they're good. They taste really good.

Chad: 06:15 They are, they are so good and we're so grateful to her and she's going to, we're going to have some cookies from her at this conference so that, and I've said this a couple times, but the one thing about this podcast, we love doing this podcast. However, the one drawback is we are in front of a computer in front of microphones. We're not looking you all in the eyes and talking to you. And that's, uh, that's something that we've struggled with. We don't get to hear from you off. And so if you're in the area or if you can get to the area, come to the Salt Lake keto conference. Say Hi to us at our booth and we'd love to chat with you, do some pushups a and answer any questions that you have. And plus my voice does sound better in person. It really does sound better in person.

Chad: 07:06 And secondly, our second item of business fasted state is coming up 16th through the 19th. For Eric's birthday, Eric's birthday celebration. We're doing a three day fast this time. And if you don't know what fasted state is, you can go to bio fit coaching.com/fast that's f as in frank, a s as in Sam, t as in Tom Bile. Uh, I got myself all mixed up, biofitcoaching.com/fast and um, it's fasted state is a three day fast that we do altogether. And uh, every single day, well, five days leading up to the fast. We help you prepare, make sure you have everything you need in your kitchen, help for help you. Make sure your mind is right. And, uh, and then through the fast, we have a live Q and a every single day so that you feel supported. You feel like, uh, you know, um, you're doing it with a group of people. You have some accountability and it's just a good time. We always get great feedback from these fastest state sessions. So go to biofitcoaching.com/fast check it out. Um, and fast with us.

Eric: 08:14 Yeah. What is the deadline? April 9th signup. Right. Deadline. Because we got to, uh, start the, the, the prefast, uh, uh, uh, preparation. So April 9th is the deadline.

Chad: 08:27 Okay. And then you've got to be, I haven't been updated by the bio team, but we've gotta be darn near close to full.

Eric: 08:33 Yeah. Are We? Yeah. And we, you know, just remember this is the ultimate detox. Okay. That's all I'm going to say about it. If you're really looking for detox, this is the true natural, ultimate, nothing better than a, this type of detox. Okay. You can, you can, you can't match it any other way, so, yeah. Perfect detox for you.

Chad: 08:53 Yeah. Great. Well should dive in and just talk a little bit about fear. Yes. Do it. So it was a good, that was a good fearful answer. Israel here. I really do. Um, so this is a pretty vulnerable conversation for a lot of people and especially for me. I'm going to talk a little bit about my fears. I actually took about six months, uh, two years ago, well about a year and a half ago to study fear. And I just really wanted to understand how fear worked. What was the purpose, how did it operate in my life, how do I recognize it, what do I do with it? All of that kind of stuff. And, and I think it's, it was one of the more, a lot of times I'll get hyperfocused on a, on a topic like this that has to do with our mindset. And, um, so I've had a few times where I've really dove into something for months and months at a time and fear the process with fear was probably the most life changing experience I've had studying and practicing a certain topic.

Chad: 10:00 So, um, I'm going to try in the next 30 minutes to relay a lot of those things that I learned and, uh, and really help people get a good picture of the shift that I made in my life because I used to, I used to really hate fear. Um, and, uh, I used to really despise it and worry about it and feel like I was helpless to it. And now, uh, I honestly feel like it's one of my greatest assets and it tells me more about myself and what I want and then what I can go after, what I shouldn't go after than anything else. And so, um, so that's what I really hope the shift is in this conversation for people. Um, but, uh, yeah, let's, let's have some fun with it. As we think about fear. Um, and as we think about our thoughts, our personality and our actions are just a result of what we think of most right? So this isn't a new idea probably for most people. You think of like the old book as a man thinketh. So is he, um, I don't know if you've ever read that, but it's a cool little book that just talks about, you know, our thoughts. They shape our personality, they shape our decisions, they shape our life really, um, even physically. And that's the other thing I wanted to say, uh, at the, at the front of this, Eric is, um, the reason I picked this topic to talk about today, especially to a group of people who are either interested in keto or live living keto, is there's a lot of fears that we deal with when we talk about a specific diet. I'm not saying Keto is a diet, but you know, as what we eat as a diet, that's how I'm using the word. Um, you know, a lifestyle like changing our lifestyle.

Chad: 11:51 What are People gonna Think? Uh, you know, what if I don't succeed? What if my body doesn't change the way I wanted to change? I mean, there's just so many fears that come up. And I think if we're unsure, if we're not approaching those in a healthy way, they can sabotage our experience in keto. Yes. Right, right. And you as a coach, I know you explained to me a lot of times that are explained to me or, or, or relayed to me stories of your clients who fear is just getting the best of them. And so that's, that is really why I wanted to tackle this, this topic. Today's, I just wanted to make sure people understand this is this is very, very topical and it's very, very applicable to the topic of our, of our podcasts. So, uh, so understanding the thoughts form us, right?

Chad: 12:42 Our thinking, what we focus on, what we choose to focus on shapes our lives. Um, and thoughts are mostly most effectively driven by emotions than any other influence. So what I mean by that is when you are thinking becomes a lot of times we can become obsessed in our thinking due to a feeling rather than a book that we read or a TV show that we watched or a conversation that we had. Does that make sense? So the feeling is what's going to drive our thoughts rather than the thing that either caused or as correlated with the feeling. Um, and that's why a lot of times we don't remember a lot of, uh, things like if we read a book, it's hard to eat. You and I have talked about this, Eric, it's hard to remember everything that you read. It's pretty easy to remember the overall feeling you had reading this book. it's, it's quite easy to recall that. In fact, if you named a title of any book that I read throughout probably my life, um, I couldn't tell you a lot of specifics about it, like the content of the book. But I could definitely tell you how the book made me feel and then that influenced my thinking much more than the content obviously. So does that make sense?

Eric: 14:04 A lot of sense. Cause I, you know, I, I suffer from, you know, trying to retain everything I read. And like I always say, you know, in people do, they learn about Keto, they learn about, you know, diabetes and insulin resistance and all the obesity and fat and people ask you these technical questions and you don't, you know, for those that are learning and not really into it, they really don't have all the scientific answers, but they do it don't think they can come back on is, well, what did I feel when I learned this? And I really believe it and I accepted it and I feel good about it. You may not be able to quote that, I'll all the stats behind it, but you just got to go with that feeling that you know that that you had.

Chad: 14:48 Right? Right. And that's what we talk about when we talk about going with your gut, right? What is, what does your gut say? Like when we're faced with a decision and logically we just can't make that decision the way we want to. We use this term, let's just go with your gut. So that's what we're talking about is that that influence of feeling over logical thought. I'm not saying we should abandon logical thought or evaluating it, um, in that way, but it is more powerful. So, um, what would you say, if I were to ask you, Eric, what, what would you think are the two strongest emotions that we experience as humans?

Eric: 15:32 The strongest emotions that we, besides the love and all that kind of stuff. Um, and love is an emotion. Yeah. Okay. I, yeah. Love. Yeah. I'm trying to think where's he going with this love and fear. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

Chad: 15:56 Um, a lot of people think they're the opposite emotions, like they're opposing in some way that it doesn't really work that way. There's not black and white, they're just strong. So, um, those are the most motivating emotions and feelings that we can feel, uh, that, that caused us to action or cause us to thought. Okay. So the other point that I want to bring out is that our mind magnifies what we think of most. And I'm building a case. Each of these points might seem a little bit random or I'm seems like I'm jumping around a little bit, but I'm building a case that's going to help us a little bit here in just a moment. So, um, there's a, there's a, uh, a piece of art. I don't know who it, who painted it. It's um, it's a pretty famous piece of art and the, basically the, the painting is a man standing there, uh, pretty plain looking man with a blue sky behind him. And then there's a giant green apple right in front of his face. You can't see much of his face at all because the green apple. Have you seen this painting anyway? I wish we could show visuals on this podcast, but, um, hopefully my description does it justice is, and basically the, what we think the artists, um, what the, what the artist was trying to depict was that when something so small and insignificant like an apple is right in front of our face, it's all we can see. And it's very, it's very significant to that point, right?

Chad: 17:29 You can't walk, you can't do anything really with an apple, literally right in front of your eyes. It's all you can see. And, um, that's the same thing with our thoughts. And W, you know, our minds magnify what's most on our minds. So, uh, when we are in a state of fear for something, we're fearing something. Um, it's all we can think about off often. It's all we can see and we catastrophic. We cat it. W what's the word? Uh, uh, we, we made it, we make it into a catastrophe, right? We, yeah, it's catastrophic to us. It's the end of everything. It's, it induces anxiety and stress and all these things in, it's literally all we can see if we're able to take, take a step back, just as if we were able to back away from that apple, we could see that it's probably a lot less significant than we thought it was. All right. Um, and so fear is a fear is the poster child of this concept. It is so strong and we run it. It's like those tapes, right? When we fear something, it's that recording of that tape that we roll over and over and over again. Hit Stop, rewind. We don't have to rewind things anymore in the digital age, but, uh, you know, think of cassette tapes. We were wide it, we play it again. We were writing it. We play it again, we rewind it, play it again until soon. It becomes all we can see it.

Eric: 19:08 Is that kind of like my moment memetic messaging. You know, I've talked about that before where sun, there's means that you obviously having your brain could be a faulty brain message, but something that the medically you, you grew up with, I guess you'll probably get into that, but it just kind of jumps out at me that though some of those means that, that, that we suffer from, you know, from, from whatever childhood or adulthood ever. You, you started to make that a mimetic message to your brain.

Chad: 19:39 Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I will talk a little bit about that because, uh, um, I think it's important to understand where our fears come from, but at the same time, I'm not that interested in where they came from for a couple of reasons. I'm not a therapist and that's a therapist job. Uh, but also I, I'm not, I'm not completely convinced that understanding where they came from helps us move forward. Um, I think it keeps us looking back rather than looking forward and, uh, but there, there can also be some definitely some healing that can happen if we're willing to sit with where they came from. So I'll talk a little bit about it. Um, and it's, it is one of the exercises that I'm gonna suggest we do. However, I'd like to stay more focused on what we do with the fear of the future so that we can grab the things that we want.

Chad: 20:34 Yeah. Um, so I have another question for you. Um, outside of fear of physical injury or death, do you know what the most common fear is?

Eric: 20:47 Let me think a sec. Sorry. And this is the most common fear. Yeah, go ahead. Not being liked, maybe. Yes. Yeah.

Chad: 21:01 So you can, um, you can put it in a lot of different terms, but basically the base of this fear is rejection. Okay. So, you know, not being liked is the exact same thing. Uh, rejection looking stupid is the exact same thing, which is a huge fear for people, right? That's what drives like our, our fear of public speaking. That's what drives our fear of, uh, having a wardrobe malfunction. All of that kind of stuff that people are gonna judge you think you're less than and that those are all forms of rejection. Now we have to think about why, why are we so out of all the dangerous things like I got on the freeway and my car today, I got on the airplane two days ago and I didn't think about any of those things really. I mean, I didn't, I didn't go into any of those things thinking I could die in this right now. Um, but I do often think about people rejecting me even, you know, even in podcasting well, is, is my material going to be enough? Am I going to look smart enough? Am I going to, you know, all of these things. I think about those. There's not a time I hit record that I don't think about those things. And that's all a fear of rejection and it, and it seems from our perspective nowadays when we have, we live in a world, well those of us who live in like, you know, good places that have all the resources we need like food and shelter and all that kind of stuff, it seems like a petty, a very, very petty, a fear when we step back and look at it.

Chad: 22:45 But we have to look at the origin of it. And um, it's basically what it is, is it's survival of the primitive mind. So it's to keep us safe from life threatening situations and to secure the continuation of our seed. So think about the hunter gatherers, right? And I bring this up a lot, but it's really important for us to look at ourselves as an evolved species from a group of people for millions of years or hundreds of thousands of years that operated a single way. And then just within the last couple thousand years, we have now become, you know, the, the plentiful society that we are. So we had hundreds of thousands of years of developing this fear of rejection because in that time, Eric, if your tribe of a hundred people reject you, what happens? You're done are dead. You're done. You're done. You're lion lunch, your, uh, or, or you are, uh, you know, starving to death or whatever because in that tight group of a hundred hundred gathers, everybody has their role and everybody's role is needed to survive. And if you are a lone wolf, I mean, unless you are a, you know, I dunno, I was gonna bring up some cool movie character, but I don't know of any, uh, unless you're this hero person who, uh, can defy all, uh, laws of nature, you're going to be dead. And so we developed this fear of rejection. If my clan rejects me, I will not survive, which is just no longer the case. Right? You will survive. You will still eat, you will still have shelter, you will still have all of these things. And most likely not everyone is going to reject you. We get so hyper focused on one person, this one person rejects us, we will die. And the reality is, is that work, that person is one of a hundred people in our lives. Right? And so it's just really, it's really helpful to have this fear in perspective and understand, well, okay, most fears that I'm experiencing day to day now are rooted in this fear of rejection and it's no longer serving me. So we'll, we'll, we'll get back to that a little bit more. But does that make sense?

Eric: 25:21 Yeah. Because I always, you know, I was talking about being prisoner of other people's opinions. So that's where it really comes down is the fear of opinions of others, of rejection, you know, you're doing what they don't like about you, the et Cetera, et cetera.

Chad: 25:39 Make sense? Yeah, that's exactly right. That's exactly right. So, um, I have a little exercise to help people kind of uncover, discover what this fear means to them, um, and uh, to really start to recognize, uh, and this isn't necessarily so at the end of this podcast, I have four ways to befriend your fears and get what you want. This is a, this is kind of a precursor exercise you can do to those things. Um, so I'm going to jump into that, but before we do it, let's talk really quick about bioStak as we always do bioStaks, five organic ingredients, working synergistically to, uh, minimize free radical damage, uh, help you with your energy, with your workouts, with your keto, all of that kind of stuff. You can go to bioStak.com and check it out. Eric, is there, is there anything specific that you are thinking about this week with bioStak? Oh, by the way, we're going to have a good amount of bioStak with us at a, at the Salt Lake keto conference. Right?

Eric: 26:48 You Bet. Yes, we are. Yeah. And yeah, it just, no, I'm doing that 30 day one meal a day, extreme elf fasting. I wouldn't make strain really hard, hard workouts. And I think I mentioned this before, I, you know, and of course I take the stack and, um, I just, I, I'm really, really, really, um, with my bio markers, seeing all my recovery and how, how fast I'm bouncing back and the soreness, my inflammation in my knees. I'm just pushing the limit and I, all I can say is my recovery has just been phenomenal. And I'm not just saying, I'm just not saying I, we're really not. I'm, I'm doing things with my knees and you know, through, through these workouts and I'm doing, um, just, just an amazing recovery. And so I won't go into the science behind that. Why that's behind it, the recovery, but I know where it's coming from. That's all I'm going to say. So, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You guys live by an inflammation. Okay. Cause that I have my knees that are, are, are, um, uh, the bar that I have to know where I'm at. So anyway, I have a good way of measuring inflammation. So

Chad: 28:01 anyway, yeah, that's great. And, and I'll, I will back you up on you not just saying things. There's, uh, there's been some things over the last couple of years that, uh, either I have suggested to you or the bioteam is suggested to you and, um, you are not willing to go there because it wasn't something that you fully believed in. And I very, very much respect that and, and, and so grateful for that. And so I just wanted to reiterate to everybody, this is not, um, this is not something Eric would just say. This is something that you would have to believe in, which is why you took three years to develop it. Yup. Um, and, and it just, we, we were really prodding you to release it earlier and you kept saying, nope, nope, it's not quite right yet. It's not quite right yet. And how, how, however frustrating that was for me and the bio team, uh, I'm now grateful because we have an incredible product. You have an incredible product, um, in bioStak. And so I just want to, I just wanted to reiterate that and my friends supplements or so last year and it's time to stack.

Eric: 29:11 You got it. [inaudible] just a, you got to work in it. Like we always say synergy and things have to work together and that's how our bodies are. We just can't take one metabolite, a single metabolite and take it out, which we do like leucine and different things. We'll just take that single metabolite out and use it, but we're not getting the synergy of what you know and natural foods and natural things that have been placed together to work together. Sometimes we just like to take this out, this out, this out, and then it's as effective your body. There's still things coming in and working together and synergies, different.

Chad: 29:48 Different brands don't work together. Sometimes different amounts aren't working synergistically, so yeah,

Eric: 29:55 all of that is very, just take one thing and say up. There it is. That's the holy grail right there. That's right.

Chad: 30:01 So we goto biostak.com grab yourself some biostak See how good you can feel. All right, let's jump into this fear exercise. So, um, I hope as you, as I've been talking for the last little while, some you, you have thought of some things that you fear and uh, just for example, uh, one thing that I fear is that I fear. Um, so I do a lot of creative stuff. I'm a photographer, I'm a video. Uh, I do a lot of video work, I do a lot of podcasting. Um, I am at my heart a creative and one of my greatest fears is becoming irrelevant because as an artist, if you're wanting to be paid for your art, uh, becoming irrelevant and, and no longer viable or, or no longer needed as, as an artist, you don't get paid obviously, then it quickly becomes a hobby. And, um, and so I fear that a lot. And obviously you can already see that this is rooted in rejection. I'm working, I'm going to be rejected or my work is going to be rejected. And uh, that would mean not feeding my family. That would mean not feeling like I create value in the world, all of that kind of stuff. So it's all ready at rooted in rejection. So think about, I want those of you who are listening, I want you to think about that thing that you fear that's keeping you from doing something you want to do and maybe that is rooted in or maybe that is has to do with keto. Maybe you're just listening to this and you've been flirting with the idea of keto. Um, but I want you to think about what does that kept you from jumping in with both feet and, and keep that in mind.

Chad: 31:44 So, um, I'm going to ask you a couple questions about it. And Eric, I'm not going to ask you to answer cause uh, I don't want to put you on the spot in that way. I'm, I'm very open and vulnerable with my, uh, with my fears. But I've also had a lot of practice at this and so I never expect somebody to be this way right off the bat. This takes some take some practice. So I want everybody to think about that thing that they fear, that thing that's keeping you from something you really want to do or have or be. And uh, so the first question is, can you remember a time not fearing that thing? Like was there ever a time in your life that you did not fear that? And can you remember it? Hmm. This might take a little bit of work. Like, you know, if this was public speaking, the fear of the roof fear there is you're afraid you're going to say something stupid or you're going to look dumb or you're going to have a wardrobe malfunction. Everybody's going to think you're dumb and you're in front of a group and a, and that could be a very scary prospect for stuff. So think about that. Is there ever a time when you didn't fear about fear of, uh, being in front of people? Is there ever a time when you didn't run those stories in your mind of all of the horrible Po, you know, the possible horrible things that could happen? Okay. This is my first question. So answer that. Uh, when did you realize it was a fear?

Chad: 33:19 Like what's the first time you remember thinking, oh, I would really like to say this in front of the group, but I'm too scared. I don't want to, I don't want to look dumb. Uh, I don't want to make a mistake. So that's my second question. When did you realize that you feared it? My third question is, can you identify the moment you decided the fear was stronger than the desire?

Chad: 33:49 So you have this desire to do something. You have this inclination, your gut, like you were talking about Eric, this gut feeling, your guts telling you, you should do this, this, this sounds fun, or this sounds, um, adventurous or this sounds worth while. And then at some point you're something in your mind. You're a Mega Bellah says, no, that's scary. And that's the moment that the fear is stronger than the desire. Can you remember the time it, can you remember the moment or the, the occasion, the, the, uh, event that happened where your mind overpowered your, your gut. All right. So I hope, I hope this stirs up some thoughts for you. As you're listening, I hope you can identify some of these. If you haven't and you need to pause us and, and think about it, or after you're done listening to the podcast, if you're driving or whatever, you get to the office, you get home. I hope you'll think about these questions. I think you'll, I hope you'll write them down. They'll be really, really useful, uh, in the four ways that I'm going to talk about now.

Eric: 34:56 You know, I was, it, that was, that was good. That was a good exercise. Cause I, I, I wrote down two things as you were doing that. I was thinking, what do I, it it really made me think quickly, actually on a couple things I fear and, and it's things that I coach people on and one popped out is in, uh, the fear of losing. I mean, you know, in a race competitive atmosphere that I put myself in for lots of years, it's the fear of losing was just dominating. You know, it's very motivating, but it also started to be stronger than the desire. It wasn't the pressure, the stress, the fear of losing and, and being rejected. As, you know, as you talked about that rejection of all, you lost in all that effort and all that work and then you realize in your mind you're thinking it was off or not. It was, it wasn't. There is that fear is so strong to where you don't even want to compete anymore. You know, it, you're, you're getting out of that and, but you love what you're doing. But the desire is, is, is leaving because of that fear of losing. And I, when I get people racing, it's overcoming that fear of, of, of losing, you know, not performing good enough. And, and I, and I work on that. I do. That was a neat, it just popped right out and I was like, oh, okay. I understand that one.

Chad: 36:33 Especially if you think about this in the context of your clients, Eric, when you think about, um, their desire to get into shape, right? Um, and you know, there's a lot of things that have to do with that, but one of them is, is physical exercise and maybe even going to the gym they have. Think about how many of your clients are fear going to the gym. In fact, they probably didn't go for years because the fear was stronger than the desire.

Eric: 37:00 Yup. And the simple looking dumb, like you don't know what you're doing. Yeah. We're alone can keep people from going to the gym because everybody's doing what they're doing and they know what they're doing. And then you just have that, that what their opinions of you are going to be and you just let it stop you.

Chad: 37:19 Yeah. So here's my suggestion in here. Here's what I would say is the crux of the entire conversation that we're having. Um, I don't believe in these, uh, these things where we talk about crushing your fear. Uh, I don't believe in crushing your fear. I don't believe in leaning into your fear. I don't believe in any of these kind of means that we've made up to help cope with the fear. Um, because I, I don't believe that fear ever goes away. Listen, we have, um, evolved into a fearful mind over hundreds of thousands of years and eventually we might evolve away from a fearful mind, but that doesn't seem to be the trajectory that we're going in. When you look at the rising number of, you know, the rising amount of anxiety and stress in our society, we can, we can measure that by, um, the, the amount of mental health professionals that's needed by the prescriptions that are being prescribed, weren't getting more fearful, we're getting more anxious and so it's not going anywhere anytime soon. We evolve to be this. And so my opinion is instead of pretending like we're crushing or getting rid of our fears, um, I say we embrace them. I say we make friends with them and we use them to get what we want rather than, uh, neglect them or fear them or push them away or pretend like we don't have them or let them control us. So, um, I, one thing I'm, I'm fascinated with his reading biographies, especially biographies of people who have done some pretty amazing things and a w there's a pattern that I've noticed and, um, one person in particular that I love reading her books, Mel Robbins. Have you ever heard of Mel Robbins? Um, she has a book called the five second rule, which is just brilliant where she, in fact, I want to do a podcast on it, but she basically puts out there that, you know, uh, the five second rule or the five second secret is that if there's something that you know you need to do or should do or want to do but can't find the motivation or the resources or whatever, um, her, her tactic is you start at five and you count down and when you read zero you just do it.

Chad: 39:49 And it does a lot of things. She's really cool. She explains, it has psychologically what it does, like our minds don't have it almost. Um, you know, we almost have to do the thing once we get to zero. So like you can, you can experiment with this in like really little gyms like getting out of bed in the morning so you can, um, you can lay in bed, you know, if you're attempted to hit the snooze button and fall back asleep or knock it up or whatever, you go, five, four, three, two, one zero go. And I'm telling you it works. Uh, you almost have no choice but to do the thing, get out of bed. It's, it's psychological, it's a good tool. Um, and it's just kind of a hack. So anyway, that's a side note. She wrote that whole book. I think we should do a podcast on it cause it's really fascinating and she talks about the psychology behind it, all of that kind of stuff. And I think it'd be pretty motivating to people. Anyway, in that book, five second rule, she talks about fear and it being one of the things that holds us back and this idea that we could overcome it or get rid of it. And she doesn't believe it either because she is a public speaker. She's somebody who sells. I mean, she in particular, she talks about this incident, she'd sold out, one of her speeches, sold out the cowboy stadium, and now think about those moments before going out on stage at a sell out crowd at the cowboys stadium. And she said, I had so much fear. It's so much fear, but I five four, three, two, one zero go out on stage, I'm filling it, I'm speaking. And the fear starts to diminish or it starts to, uh, or I start to use that fear to communicate what I want to communicate to all those people.

Chad: 41:45 So I'm saying somebody like that, if there, I mean, she's probably speaking at least once a week, if not a couple times a week, right. Speaking tours or her thing. And if she's still feeling fear before she goes on stage, I'm saying it's never going away. But we can't. What we can do is we can use it, we can be friend it, and we can understand it in a way that it drives, are and motivates our action. Does that make sense? Yes. Awesome. So, uh, I like that.

Eric: 42:18 And that's a positive five count rule. I like that. I'm from the past where my kids had a five count rule. This is a positive five count. So that's good for me.

Chad: 42:35 And it actually has to be counting down psychologically with, it's the opposite of counting up. Yup. So I just point her out and her experience to, to point out that it's less about being fearless. It's less about being crushing the fear. I don't even like the term fear less. Um, because then I think we lose one of our greatest assets if we're fear less. Um, and it's more about having a healthy relationship with our fear. If you think about it, if we were fear less, um, which would mean an, uh, an an healthy or disconnect between our amygdala and the rest of our thought processing brain, we would actually be in a lot of trouble. Um, we need some fear to keep us safe, uh, especially physically safe. Um, but we can use that to mitigate our risk.

Chad: 43:29 Right. So, um, anyway, if you, if you watched a watch the movie, the new documentary with Alex Honnold, uh, where he free climbs the El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. Um, in there they do a brain scan on him and there's actually a disconnect between his fear, his fearing brain and is thinking brain and it could be very dangerous, but he is, yeah. So he's hot, he's free climbing the highest wall in the world basically. And uh, and, and he doesn't have that connection between fear and logic. So it could be a dangerous place to be. Right. So I mean, back to the limbic system to Cortex, that's the, I think that's the wiring that goes on there. So that's, yeah. His brain doesn't lie it up. Uh, uh, in the same places that, uh, the common brain lights up when they're shown certain end images that induce fear.

Chad: 44:34 I wonder if that's conditioning. I don't know. It doesn't, it don't do it. Yeah, that's, that's got me intrigued. Okay. Yeah, go ahead. If you haven't seen the documentary, you should absolutely watch it. It is fascinating. And My, my, my stepson told me to watch it because they're, they're climbers. So I got to watch that. I got to do it really, really good from all angles, from a psychology angle, from an athletic angle, just, it's just, uh, he is a brilliant, uh, uh, a brilliant man in many ways. And, uh, anyway, I won't go into it. Okay. So let's, uh, let's finish this off with the four ways to per friend and use your fears for, to get what you want. So, um, the first, my first point is, or my first idea is to use fear. Don't let fear use you. So when you feel that fear, um, you're going to investigate it, you're going to use that exercise that I, I walked you through earlier with the three questions and, uh, and really look at it how you can use this fear to do the things that you want and, and drive you rather than cripple you.

Chad: 45:45 Right? We want to, we want to have a driving relationship with fear rather than a crippling relationship. Um, identify the irrational fears in your life. And I've said this a million times in our conversations, Eric, and I say to my clients all the time, and I say to myself all the time, noticing is half the battle. So just identifying the fears that are holding you back is more than half the battle. And it's a practice. It's something you have to work at. Um, but it's super powerful once you do. Okay. So noticing that half the battle, just identify them. I encourage you to write them down. Keep a fear journal. Uh, I did that for six months when I was studying fear and it was super powerful, really, really powerful medium for me to just identify those and write them down and, and, and accept them as part of me.

Chad: 46:37 Um, ask that fear what it believes it is protecting you from this is really, this is a fun exercise. So you're going to do dress that fear and ask it and you're really asking yourself, I'm right. I'm not this woo, woo person that thinks that this fear is some person or something that exists. It's, you're asking yourself, but you're addressing that fear and you're asking it, what are you protecting me from? What are you trying to keep me safe from? And let it answer. Answer yourself, you know, if it, if it is a fear of going to the gym or getting into working out again or changing your diet or you know, all of these things, ask it what is protecting you from notice as it answers that it's probably not protecting you from anything that you need to be protected from. It's probably irrational.

Chad: 47:31 And then at that point you can think it for its service. You can say, thank you, thank you for trying to keep me safe, but I don't need to be safe from that thing. And uh, and I, and I'm going to go after that thing with you intact. But I thank you for your service. I thank you for trying to keep me safe, spreading interesting exercise to do. Um, and then lastly, uh, what I call the fear challenge, or I'll also call it dabbing d a, B, which is, you know, of course this ridiculous a body movement that a kid, I don't know if it's still popular or not, but my kids still dab. Um, but this is a different kind of dabbing and this is an acronym, d a, B. It's daily acts of bravery. So my fear challenge is to do something every single day that that causes you to be brave.

Chad: 48:29 So this is, um, addressing your fear, looking at your fear, and then acting, uh, letting it drive you to do something that is, that to you. Seems brave. So start small and get little wins. We, you and I, we've talked about little wins and what, how beneficial little wins are. Um, so do so start small, do something brave every single day. That is something small, but it still takes a little bit of bravery. Maybe that's talking to a stranger, saying hi to somebody in the grocery store line. I'm asking somebody if you can help them, uh, whatever that is. And, and just get in the habit of being brave, get coming out of your shell and we'll start small and then you can get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And then pretty soon you're doing things that you never imagined you would and you're still feeling the fear, but you're using it as an asset. You're using it as a driver and something that is part of you rather than something you need to fight against because that's exhausting. Um, but anyway, those are my four ways to be friend fear and get what you want and uh, these have proven to be really powerful for me.

Eric: 49:41 Those are good. I take it the, yeah, we have to make sure we have those, well our podcasts are all um, in data forms. So yeah, we'll definitely have those there. If not, we'd hope you wrote them down really quick.

Chad: 50:00 Nice thing is you can go back, you can skim back. Yes she can. So anyway, I hope this has been helpful. I hope we've achieved our goal and reframing fear and, and understanding that it really is, are an asset to us rather than this thing that holds us back. Um, and I hope it helps people get some things that they want.

Chad: 50:18 And I think it was great. And now it just making an application. That's a part we all got do. We all got to do, we can't walk away. You know, if something like this, it's so easy just to walk away and go back into the norm, but this is something that we're really thinking about and especially for myself, I'm just talking about myself to really try and make application of this because yeah, we've got to put it to work right. But it's just good for me, really is.

Chad: 50:48 Great. Well, awesome. Well thanks for mind hacking with us today, Eric. Well, I appreciate you. Thank you. And I want to thank all of you for joining us on this quest for optimal fitness. If you're ready to begin your own journey and live your life and Ketosis, be sure to check out biofitcoaching.com or biofit coaching on Instagram. That new handle is at @keto.biohacker lots of really good stuff there. If this podcast has helped you at all, entertained you, we encourage you to go to iTunes or wherever you get your podcast, leave us a five star rating in a glowing review that helps us reach lots of people. Finally, the greatest compliment that you can give us is sharing this podcast with your friends and family, those who need it the most, those who are looking for a different way of living, and until next time, stay keto.