02/06/19 E75 Comparison And Competition in Fitness and Life

We've heard much about the trap of comparison and competition. But, is comparing and competing always unhealthy? What are the ways we can use C&C to motivate and achieve goals? This is the topic of today's conversation as Eric and Chad spend some time hacking our personal motivators.

How social media has created a comparison culture.

Healthy vs unhealthy competition in exercise (and everywhere else).

Are you playing the game you'll never win?

The 5 ways to use comparison and competition in a healthy manner.

Finding a way to maintain goodwill toward others (even in competitions).

Giving it the ol' college try (the key to never being dissatisfied)

And how to avoid seeing a failure in one area as catastrophic.

In this episode, Chad talks about the many different benefits he's personally experienced from taking bioStak. If you haven't tried it for yourself yet, go to biostak.com to start feeling good again!

And as always, if you have any questions on this episode (or any questions in general) don’t hesitate to reach out to us at bioteam@biofitcoaching.com, or submit a question on www.lifeinketosispodcast.com

And if you’re interested in starting your own journey, you can find out more information at biofitcoaching.com or on Instagram @biofit_coaching



Transcript:

Chad: 00:00 I do a lot of, uh, community rec center workout classes used to teach them and now I attend them. I attend at least three a week. And what I've noticed is when the workout is happening there, there are a few people in the class, usually the other regulars. And we are definitely competing. Like we're, we're pushing ourselves, uh, when you know, we're, we're leaving it all on the floor and we are noticing what the other person is, is doing. I guarantee that everybody would say the same thing if they were honest with themselves. Yeah, it's a journey begins in a single step or in my case, one less piece of bread. My name is Chad and I'm a seeker. I have sought out an expert in the field of nutrition and fitness who I hoped would help me feel better. They call him the biohacker, but I call him Eric. I hope you'll join me in a path that leads you and I to optimal fitness, the body and the mind as we live our life in ketosis. This is the life and Ketosis podcast, uh, biohackers guide to optimal body performance.

Chad: 01:18 Hello everyone. My name is Chad and this is my quest to achieving the healthy state of being with a man that can get me there. My mentor and cohost, he is the science to my regular guy. The extreme testing to my, I'll take your word for it, the biohacker himself, Mr Eric Bischof. Somewhere along this journey of ours I realized to feeling better is really one part physical and one part mental and both are needed to achieve the optimal state of being what I call keto happiness or ketosiness. And today we're talking about competition and comparison. It's Super Fun topic. How are you Eric?

Eric: 01:54 I'm doing I'm doing good. Yeah. In fact that when I got your notes this morning, just a little bit ago, I didn't know what, I didn't have any idea, but wow, this is a interesting topic.

Chad: 02:05 Yeah, absolutely. So this topic, this topic isn't necessarily a topic that I work a lot on with both myself or my, my coaching clients. Um, if you've been listening for a while and know that I, I coach people on mindset, mindfulness, that kind of stuff. And this isn't one that often comes up. Um, but I think it's so important, especially in the context of diet, diet, or a diet, lifestyle or exercise, all of that kind of stuff. I think this is, this is a place in life where you and I and everybody else experience a bit of comparison and competition, wouldn't you say?

Eric: 02:47 I think a lot of us live our lives by it. I know I used to until I made some changes. It might. Yeah. Yeah.

Chad: 02:58 You know, we live in, um, we kind of live in a comparison culture now with social media. It seems like, you know, social media has become a large part of like putting yourself out there in a comparison sort of way. And I know that there's a lot of people who have found a healthy balance with it, but I know the, probably the majority, uh, at least, uh, I mean there's been a lot of studies that I read. Social media is one of my points of interest. I'm really interested in it, how we interact with it, what it does to our minds and our mindsets and all that kind of stuff. So I read a lot. Anytime there's a new study or something that comes out on social media and how it affects our minds and our behaviors and our moods, I read it. And, um, so I do know, I'm not just talking from experience or, or, uh, anecdotally here is, I know that, uh, social media really first for whatever reasons, lends itself to a lot of comparison. So, yeah. Yeah. And a lot of unhealthy comparison and competition. So, um, but you know, social media is a, is also like Instagram and Facebook. It's a, it's a large driver of this end industry. Now the industry in which you find yourself is a health and fitness and it's, it's, it's a lot of before and afters. It's a lot of unbelievable success stories. Um, and it's a lot of, like you said, selfies. And so it's really easy to get caught up in this a comparison trap, uh, and, and feeling like you're competing with everybody else in the world. And, uh, that's another thing that's very interesting about this topic and, and where we're at this day and age with social media is that it used to be if you were prone to this comparison or competition, um, trap, it was only a handful of people. Maybe the people you saw at the gym on a weekly basis that you are comparing with right now with social media, you could have a feed of 500,000 to thousand people that you think you're competing with. And I mean that's, that alone is a, it could just stress you right out of your mind.

Eric: 05:23 Yes. In fact, you know, that that comparison thing, especially in, in being owner of, you know, fitness centers and being around that 24, seven, it, it's just amazing when you just, people, you know, I always watch and talk and then coaching, you know, during the day and in classes and it is amazing when you really just watch how much comparison goes on. I mean, it's just, it's, it's, it's just nonstop. It's just a human instinct almost. You Walk in the gym and there's instantly, if you, if you analyze yourself, it's instantly comparison. You know, you're always comparing yourself to somebody else or comparing. It's, it's always there.

Chad: 06:03 Yeah. And you make a great point. This is where I wanted to start this conversation is ancestrally, uh, we are wired, we evolved in and are wired for this idea of competition and the reason that we're wired for this, it makes, when we look at it from our, from our hunter gatherer ancestors point of view, it makes perfect sense because if you're not competitive, you don't eat, you don't reproduce which in in if you're an evolutionary, uh, if you study things from an evolutionary point of view, everything we do is a goal to reproduce. That's it. Like, and, and so when you look at it that way and why, why we're wired this way now, we're now, our lives are much more complex and we have the convenience of focusing on happiness and fulfillment and you know, that kind of stuff because we are basic needs have been very well taken care of. For most of us. I'm thinking, I'm speaking from a very privileged American point of view right now, but for the most of us living in the United States now, our basic needs are pretty much guaranteed us. And uh, and, and now we get to focus on the peripheral things, which is happiness and fulfillment. But our ancestors, they had to focus on reproduction. And if you weren't competitive, you didn't reproduce. You didn't attract the opposite sex, you didn't find the food, you didn't stay warm, you didn't build the shelter if you weren't competitive. And so it's, it's really born into us. And so one thing I really want to put out there on the onset of this conversation, Eric, is we can't beat ourselves up for feeling this comparison or this competition. I know I've, I've attended a lot of, you know, Yoga classes or exercise classes where the instructor will say, Hey, don't compare yourself to anybody else in here. This is your workout. This is just for you. And I think it's a really great sentiment and I think it's a good goal to strive for. But I also think it may be, creates a little bit of shame for people when they do feel that competition or that compare that comparison. And, and I'm saying, don't, don't beat yourself up about it. Just acknowledge it and say, Oh yeah, well that's my, uh, that's my, uh, ancestor from thousands of years, uh, ago just showing up inside of me. And it's not a big deal. It's nothing shameful, but it is, there is a healthier way of operating, right?

Eric: 08:49 Yeah, yeah. Oh, absolutely. I see it. I mean, I've been around it so much where, you know, you're in a, in a fitness class and that comparison, uh, issue comes into play all the time. And obviously some people will avoid it or escape it. And you know, I work out at home, which they feel very safe there. You know, there's, there's no comparison issues. It's that comparison didn't take you into that competition section and you know, the, that you probably going to get it. But it, it, it's definitely a real, it's real.

Chad: 09:24 Yeah. Yeah. So just so just remember that through this conversation we're going to talk about a lot of things, um, and, and putting comparison and competition into a healthy state rather than an unhealthy state. And, and hopefully what this does for a lot of our listeners and for me as a good reminder is to not put this comparison and competition into a shame place or into an unhealthy and depressive place. But, but now, and the very last thing we're going to talk about Eric, a little, a little Easter egg for the end, is that I've put together five ideas and practices in which we can participate. That I think takes our comparison and our competition into a healthy place rather than an unhealthy place. So everybody hold on for that. Wait until the end of the conversation. You get to the end of the conversation because we're going to, we're going to talk about some real practical things where the rubber hits the road that we can practice. And, um, just uh, on the onset as well here. I think it's really interesting to point out that a lot of people want to paint a, like a lot of other things they want to paint comparison and competition, black or white, right? It's either good or it's bad. Some people will tell you competition and, and comparison is a bad thing. Don't do it. It's unhealthy. It's going to and some of uh, some mostly competitors, athletes and business people will tell you competition is good. It's a really good thing. We need competition to be able to move forward and progress and all of those sort of things. Right? So you have these opposing views as you do with most things. I'm saying it's good or bad. Eric to you is competition and comparison, good or bad?

Eric: 11:17 Uh, it's good. I have to go with good and bad cause I met, I liked the good of it for the motivation factor and you know, the drive that you get, uh, then, then there's the bad side of it. It just, you know, it's very ego driven and then you realize, you know, you know the purpose and the reason why you're doing this and it's an endless chase sometimes, uh, where then you get it taken away from you. That competition where maybe you can't compete anymore, then you, uh, the bad side of it a little bit. You know, you have to deal with a lot of things then, you know, that I've, I've experienced basically, so yes, I've done a lot of soul searching out a lot of thinking over the years with this, with this topic you're bringing up today.

Chad: 12:08 Yeah. I don't know about you are, but I was raised with a very black and white thinking pattern. Um, and I was taught, you know, that things are having intrinsic value or ideas have intrinsic value and that's either a good value or a bad value. And as I get older and I study a little bit more of this stuff and I get get some life experience under me, I'm starting to understand and realize, I mean not to say I'm perfect in it, I still definitely fall into that black and white thinking. Um, but I'm starting to understand that things don't really exist in black and white. There's a lot of gray, there's a lot of both in every right. And so I think it's really important for us to keep in mind as we talk about comparison and competition. Get rid of the preconceived intrinsic values that you have placed on them. And remember as with anything, context matters, right? Matters so much. Oh yeah. So the context of which I'm going to talk about comparison and competition and just have a conversation with you about our thoughts and ideas around this is not so much when competition is good and when con competition is bad, but it's healthy competition and comparison and unhealthy competition and comparison. And that way we can decide for ourselves when it is healthy and unhealthy for us rather than it having this, this value or this, this stigma of good or bad. Does that make sense? Yes it does.

Chad: 13:45 Cool. And just to illustrate this idea that people over centuries have painted this in either good or bad, black or white. I pulled up a bunch, I'm not going to go through all of them, but I pulled up a bunch of quotes. I just did a Google search, a comparison and competition quotes and every single one of them was pushing for one or the other. It's either good or bad, right? Mark? Mark Twain said, comparison is the death of joy. And so he's saying it's bad, it's terrible. And then there were other ones that said, you know, it's healthy and it can push you and it can help you reach reach goals. And so it, there's just so many different voices out there around this topic. And I want to, I want to shift the conversation and I want to stop looking at it as good and bad and I want to reframe it as healthy and unhealthy and only you decide for yourself whether it's unhealthy and or healthy. And guess what? It doesn't have to be across the board for yourself either. Today in this situation, the competition and comparison could have been healthy and tomorrow you might run into a situation where it was unhealthy and being mindful and identifying those, it's just going to help you find more joy and use this as a tool for your progress and health rather than, you know, it has to be the same thing every time. All the time.

Eric: 15:13 Now that's a good point. I like that. Unhealthy or healthy instead of the bad or good. That's a great way to look at it. Actually. I liked that. I liked that.

Chad: 15:21 So how, how would we measure whether competition or comparison in any given such situation of circumstance for us is healthy or unhealthy? Um, how would you measure, how do you think you would measure Eric, whether or not a certain type or a certain circumstance of competition or comparison was healthy for you?

Eric: 15:45 I think if it's on how you get there, okay, how you're obtaining that goal. Okay. So if it takes a lot of selfishness, you know, time away from family and friends and you start cutting corners and you're, you're, you're, you know, the, I don't mean you're starting to go into the realm of, you know, winning at any cost, uh, where you could start thinking of cheating and an not like cheating outright, but always looking for the edge where you become consumed with it to where it's your thoughts constantly. Cause I've, I've been down that path and in that competitive mode and comparing myself to others, and especially when you're into racing an age group racing and it's just a constant battle dated day on how to get better and faster and, and you know, you start to ignore responsibilities and things like that because, you know, I was been saying, where are your thoughts are, is where your heart is. And so if you're totally consumed in that and that thought pattern, what are you leaving out of your life? That's where I have to, you know, that's where I have to draw back on on the healthy or unhealthy.

Chad: 17:00 Yeah. I love that. I love that perspective. In fact, that's exactly where I was going to go is how do we identify, how do we identify if it's healthy or unhealthy? Um, one of the, one of the seven habits of highly effective people, I don't know if you're familiar with those Eric, but I, I think they're really helpful in a lot of these types, these things where we're trying to be mindful in our life and trying to figure out what's best for us and that kind of stuff. And one of the seven habits is to begin with the end in mind. And a lot of times, um, when we find ourselves in comparison or competitions, uh, uh, situations, especially if they're just kind of sprung upon us, like we're searching through social media and we start comparing ourselves to other people or were in some sort of workout class and competition just kicks in and you just gotta be better than this other person, right? Or your or you're feeling depressed or whatever because you're not as good or better than this person. A lot of times we're not thinking about how that is going, what that, what the result of that is going to be. How are we going to feel in the end of this? And, um, and I think that's a huge mistake if we were more mindful about our competition and our comparison, we're starting with the end in mind. Meaning how am I going to feel if I decide to compare myself or compete with this person? And so obviously unhealthy results. If, if the answer is, well, I'm going to feel shame and I'm going to feel anger or I'm going to feel depressed or I'm going to, or I'm going to self neglect, right? To the point of like not taking care of myself because all I can think about or obsess about, which is what you are saying, Eric is beating this person or being better than this person.

Chad: 18:55 Then all of this, obviously those are all unhealthy or if or if you do a beat them or, or feel like you're, you've done better than them. And the result is this an immense amount of pride in which unhealthy pride in which you're, you know, you shame them or shame others or feel like you're better than or that kind of stuff. So what does that end result? Those are all unhealthy and results and what, what I would say are the best indicators of whether or not this competition or comparison situation is unhealthy for you. Now healthy. Um, when it, when it drives you to push limits or when it, when it results in better, stronger relationships with those you are in competition with or it meet, it drives you to meet or exceed your own personal goals. When, you know, not the goal of just beating this person but you're your own, uh, personal bests, your PR, um, and um, or, uh, or if it gives you a healthy dose of jitters or adrenaline that gets your blood pumping, gets you moving, you know, that sort of thing. If that's what those would all I would say would be healthy, uh, results of competition or comparison,

Eric: 20:21 Do you think it comes down to, you know, where I can try to look at it as approval to where will you eventually do these things for self approval that you are very, you know, of yourself, not the approval accolades from others too defined, you know, that, you know, your success or whatever I'm doing. Um, and I think that's part of, you know, that that approval that you approve of yourself, you know, without anybody saying anything.

Chad: 20:54 Yeah, absolutely. I, that was one of the, that was one of the points I was gonna bring up a little bit later as well. What is your, is your, no, you're great. What is your baseline, right? Is your baseline this other person like in the competition, is my baseline him or is my baseline, here's my personal records, here is my goals, that kind of stuff. And as long as I meet those, then I get, I will get fulfillment out of this experience. But even if those don't line up with beating this other person, right, or being better than this other person. And so I think you're exactly right. I think that baseline is so important

Eric: 21:35 now in, in your coaching, you know how often, you know, you come across, what percentage are, you know, people that are working off this baseline where it's, you know, when you have to coach them to go after the, the approval of themselves, the reward, not from the beating that person and telling everybody I beat this person or whatever it, whatever you're doing the to where you're getting the approval from others. I mean, is that a constant battle with you and your coaching? I'm sure

Chad: 22:06 for sure. Absolutely. And, and it, it takes so many different forms, right? Um, and it's, it's, it's really just helping them identify, well, you know, there's always going to be someone better. Yes, you can play a game where you can never win, right? You're never going to be the very best at this sort of thing or, or in the future, somebody will come along and, and we'll be better than you. Right. There may be current bests, like, you know, take a Michael Phelps or somebody like that. Nobody, nobody has as many swimming metals as he has at this point. Somebody will come along and we'll beat it, right? So eventually he's not going to be the best. So you can, you can live this losing game where there's no chance of ever winning completely. Or you can play a game where you have a chance of winning. Which one would you rather play, Eric? I think anybody would say, I want to play the game where I have a chance of winning.

Eric: 23:11 Right. Do some of the lows, you coach. And those I've coach song would rather not even try because the fear of them not winning, they feel safer by not even throwing their hat in the ring. Good. You know, I don't have to take that pressure and now I, you know, cause I don't want to lose so I don't even want to play.

Chad: 23:34 Yeah. Well, I mean if you have a drive and it's all about the person, right. If they don't have a drive to play, then I would say then that game is not for them or that competition is not for them. Or that thing is not for them. But if they have a drive to play but choose not to because they're afraid they won't win, I would say they last before they even start. I agree. And that's a, that's a, that's a tough thing to face. I love that question. And I love that idea. And I, I, I find myself a lot of times coaching people through, well, I'm never gonna, I'm never going to be successful as this person in this, in my career. So why even try and, um, for me that's just a losing position from the beginning. So you, you are already experiencing the loss that you are afraid you're going to experience by not playing.

Eric: 24:29 Do you think maybe by not playing you're eliminating the expectations of others of you thinking that, you know, sometimes the expectations of others are saying, Oh, you're going to do, you're, you're awesome, you're great, you're for sure you're going to win, or whatever you're doing all right. And all of a sudden you have that fear of not meeting their expectations and letting them down. You know, because I, I've been down that path, you know, also. Yeah, absolutely. It's like, cause I, I race a lot and then all of a sudden the expectations, I remember my kids were younger, you know, want to have a race coming up or triathlon or whatever. And they're like, and my wife even, they're like, well, you're going to win, right, dad, you're going to win, right dad? And I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna. Yeah, I'm gonna win. And those expectations are there. And I feel as a father and as a, I felt bad when if I didn't win, it's like I let them down too. Okay. And so sometimes I felt safer like, Eh, don't even want to compete because if I don't win they're going to take oh dad. And then I, if I do get got Bailey, ah, you got beat Dad, what happened? Yeah, that, and I'm just saying my kids actually put a lot of stress on me because I felt like I don't want to let them down. And it was a motivator because I mean I push into the pain cave a lot, you know, in just in life, in everything. Because you know, you don't want to let your kids down or your wife and I was like, I didn't want to tell him I was racing, you know, cause I didn't want him to say anything.

Chad: 26:04 Yeah. We'll, we'll get, we'll get back to that as well. I think you, I think you illustrated that perfectly as one of the, one of the points I'm going to make is how to cultivate more healthy comparison and competition. And it has a little bit to do with self worth. So when that one comes up, let remind me about that story because I think that's a perfect illustration of that point. Um, I was just going to share a couple of experiences of when I experienced healthy and unhealthy comparison and competition. Before we go there. Um, is it okay if we break really quick? Just talk about bioStak? Yes. So bioStak, if you've been listening for a while, you've heard it a million times. If you haven't gone to biostak.com you've got to go to biostak.com check it out, get a bottle for yourself. Biostak is the nutritional stack that Eric has been working on for years and it's five simple organic ingredients that work in synergy work synergistically. Last week you heard our podcast about um, what was the main topic but it ties so well into bio stack. It was about, uh, electrolytes and replenishing the cell and keeping cell health and all of that kind of stuff. I mean, it just, this thing works under the surface keeping your body optimal operating conditions for both. keto and non keto, if you're not keto, this can still help with cell regeneration, um, cell protection, uh, longevity, all of that kind of stuff. It's just, it's incredible stuff. It makes me feel fantastic. We get a lot of people telling us all of the things that it does for them from a diet suppression to energy to alertness and then everything that we can't feel that it's doing underneath the surface. So it, is it okay if we leave it there for bioStak? Is that work new?

Eric: 27:58 You covered it. If you get me going on, I'll just keep on going. You know that I know,

Chad: 28:04 I know. And we're, we're running short on time, so biostak.com go check it out, see how good you can feel. We'd love for you to join the club, the Biostak club and a, and just keep that body operating optimally. Got It. So, um, so I was going to share just really quickly a couple of examples that I thought of of when competition and comparison has been really healthy for me and when it has been very unhealthy, the unhealthy and I still experience this a lot. Eric is in my professional life, um, and career success, whatever that means. Right? I have some, uh, arbitrary idea in my head of what career success looks like. I haven't even necessarily defined that very well, uh, which is part of the problem. Um, but I do get trapped a lot when I see in, into the, into the unhealthy comparison and competition when I see other people who have a career, um, at a level that I think I want. And that a lot of times that puts me into a lot of shame and sometimes it makes me angry that anger a lot of times evolves into some sort of a depression, um, and an obsession and an unhealthy obsession with trying to achieve what this person has achieved rather than defining my own baseline. Um, that's one place that I identify for myself that it has been really unhealthy. And my life as far as comparison and competition. Um, the place that I feel I noticed really healthy comparison and competition. You and I have had a little bit of this right competing, uh, working out and uh, and pushing ourselves. And, and I've also noticed it, I do a lot of, uh, community rec center work out classes used to teach them and now I attend them. I attend at least three a week. And what I've noticed is when the workout is happening there, there are a few people in the class, usually the other regulars and we are definitely competing. Like we're, we're pushing ourselves, uh, when you know, we're, we're leaving it all on the floor and we are noticing what the other person is, is doing. I, I guarantee that everybody would say the same thing if they were honest with themselves and, but, but what I notice, Eric is at the end of the, of the workout and when we're outside of class, that competition has built a strong bond with us and we, we barely even know each other outside of working out and these classes, yet we feel a special type of bond because we've gone through that, that hell cave, that pain cave you talking about. We were in there together and we got out. Right. And even though we were comparing ourselves to each other while we were in there when we were out, we, I just, there's just this a tighter bond. There's a, there's an understanding of it feels like of each other. And I just love that. I love that, that the competition of that brings that, have you experienced something similar?

Eric: 31:23 Oh yes. Oh yeah. Even in, you know, like you and I taught for years and I'm a cycling class and it's amazing when you have heart rates on and you've got everything just go in and everybody is just explosive in there together. Even those that are just working their way up. It's after the class. Everybody's pouring with sweat, but everybody is in, you know, I don't know if it's the endorphins, but everybody is just the best of friends. I mean, just talk, chat. They're so happy the workout's done, they push themselves. They're, they're very proud of themselves. I mean that's, that's what I always saw. I mean, I could see it in their faces, I can hear it in their voices. And then I, you know, as a coach and a trainer, you knew you had a great class because you know, you got people to push themselves beyond what they think they can do. And it's just very rewarding. Even though others, you know, got higher, longer or sustained it longer, they didn't care. They were very happy with their results and almost every one of them.

Chad: 32:21 Yeah. And, and further than being proud of themselves, I would say, what, what attributes to a healthy competition culture is being proud of each other.

Eric: 32:31 Correct. Correct. Right. [inaudible] going on after the class and wow, that was fun. Basically it came down to, that was really fun.

Chad: 32:42 Yeah. And, and the interesting thing is, is that we don't know each other's stories. We don't know where we're coming from. We don't know, you know, mentally what goes on for each other when we work out. We don't know physically what we've got each gone through. And so just considering, I don't know your story, but man, you pushed it. I'm super proud of you. What you did that build something special and, and I think that's only, it's something special that only competition can bring. And I've experienced the same thing in the corporate world is, um, I've, I have witnessed and been apart of, I get to work with a lot of businesses and I get to see their culture and I've worked with businesses where I've come in and I can tell it is an UN healthy competition culture. And I can see that right from the beginning because nobody's proud of the other person. Nobody's encouraging the other person to do their best and to be better and do really good work. It's all about I got to get mine, I got a show that I'm better than all these people. So that I get whatever promotion or raise or you know, prestige or tidal or whatever that is and oppose. I oppose that with other experiences that I've had in the corporate world where I can tell instantly this is an incredibly healthy competitive culture where people are doing their very, very best. Um, and, and, and noticing where other people are doing their best and trying to kind of match that, meet that or beat that. But in the end, everybody is very proud of what everybody else did. And, and it's just, it's, it's a difference in, um, focusing on yourself or focusing on yourself plus what everybody else is bringing.

Chad: 34:33 And, uh, and it's, it's pretty cool to watch. Um, so I think this can apply across the board whether we're talking about social media, we were talking about our professions, working out, diet, all of that kind of stuff is, it's, there's, there are these things that cultivate healthy comparison and competition. So do you mind if we dive into the five things that I kind of put together, I've noticed and from my experience, uh, contribute to healthy comparison competition. Does that sound good?

Eric: 35:05 I have one quick question for you. Yeah, yeah. How do you feel about in, okay. In the comparison part of it or the competition part of it. What about those, I mean, doing it alone versus doing it in a group setting, like a class or wherever or with some others that you, that you know, let's say training or extra whatever that we're talking about, you know, fitness or course in different things, but what, what do you think the healthy balances is a been, you know, doing it alone without that, you know, comparison or comp or competitiveness or support or better off in a community, you know, what's, what the people you've coached, what, what's your opinion of that?

Chad: 35:46 Well, like it's, it's individual, it's so individual and so everybody has their own stories and things that go on inside their own minds. And so I couldn't prescribe one thing for everybody. I know for me and what I encourage everybody to at least try and give it all they have is, is being in community. For me, being in community around anything is always better than being alone. And that's a, that's a lesson that I've learned the hard way over the years just for myself, because I always wanted to be this self made person. I always wanted to be this rock and this island. And, um, I tried that for a lot of years and I burnt a lot of bridges and I, uh, you know, Eh, Eh, and like I said, I had to learn that the hard way. And so for me, I know that my best bet is always being in community because in community I have, um, I have responsibility, right? So people are depending on me, but I also have accountability. Um, I'm depending on other people and there and I'm accountable to them. Um, and I've always pushed myself harder. I've always felt better and all of those sort of things when I've done, I guess I'm talking specifically right now about working out when I've done it in community, I, when I do, I can think about the same thing professionally. I, you know, as a filmmaker, photographer, I could be an island. I could just do my, all my own shoots, not have a team. Um, and just go out and do my own thing. But I, I find that my product and I'm in and my work really stands out when I bring together a team that keeps me accountable and I keep them accountable and we both feed off of that kind of that a community competition but working together for the same goal.

Eric: 37:45 Yeah. That's good. Yeah. Cause I'm always constantly trying to figure out, you know, the motivation and accountability and being so great. Great.

Chad: 37:55 Yeah. So here we go. So five things that I think contribute to cultivating healthy comparison competition and I love to hear your thoughts on any of these as well. Um, the first one is preparation. Your level of preparation is the greatest contributor to your success. So when you prepare, whether that's preparing mentally, whether that's preparing physically or whatever it is, when you go into competition and comparison, you can leave a lot of the baggage that you might come into it at the door because you know, you've prepared, there's a level of confidence. Um, when you come into a competition or comparison situation and you feel inadequate or you feel unprepared, it's a lot of extra baggage in there. It's a lot of extra wondering and making up things about yourself and other people and that kind of stuff. But when you're prepared, a lot of that is quiet it down. Quite sure.

Eric: 38:56 You're talking to somebody who is like OCD on, on prep. I know, I know my wife even racing, training, everything. She's like, I've never seen anybody over think as much as you and you know me. Right. So you can vouch for that.

Chad: 39:13 Absolutely. Absolutely. I've seen you in preparations and sometimes I'm not sure your preparation quiet stuff. No, that's what I'm saying. It's a different way to look at it. Yeah, for sure. I've got a balance. Okay. Yeah. So maybe yours would be considered over preparation. I'll push. So the next one is, um, finding a way to maintain goodwill towards the other people. Uh, you know, comparison competition becomes very, very unhealthy when we want to beat or annihilate or make the other person look bad and, and um, it, it becomes very, very unhealthy if we can maintain a good will towards the other people who are, we are comparing ourselves to work or competing where were genuinely happy for their successes and we're genuine, genuinely, uh, encouraging to them all while, you know, doing our part as well. Man, that's a really healthy place to be. And, uh, and I think that's, that's something to work towards. And again, these are all practices and I'm not presenting these and I'm perfect at these, but I'm presenting these in, well that's a practice these as a lifelong practice, nurse practitioners, no, you're good.

Eric: 40:30 Go ahead. Even if they're really, really, really cocky and you beat him and he kind of got to show love.

Chad: 40:41 I would argue you'll, you will have a better, you will have a better experience if you can maintain that goodwill regardless of the circumstances. I was not, it's not always going to or rarely is in, especially in competitive, uh, events. It's not going to, a lot of times be afforded back to you. And so this can't be contingent on the other person. This is just gotta be a place that you want to be for yourself healthy. So, so no more in your face. Okay. All right.

Chad: 41:12 All right. So number three, um, makes sure the stet up the setup and the start point is as close to equal as possible. So this is what I was saying about that baseline. Um, if you're going to compare yourself to somebody or you're going to compete against somebody, I mean, this is the reason why they have weight classes and gender and you know, age classes because they want to get that baseline and it's never perfect. It's never going to be perfect. But they're trying to get that baseline as close to equal as possible in the beginning. Right? Um, and there's only so much you can do to do that. But once you start comparing yourself to somebody who's much older than you are, much younger than you, or much more experience than you or a different gender or a different, you know, all of these things. Once you start comparing across classes, you uh, either are in store for some disappointment or you're in store for some, some false pride, I think. Um, and uh, I catch myself doing this sort of thing a lot. Okay. Um, so the fourth one, do your honest best. So this is, I argue that anytime we go into a competitive or comparative, uh, situation, as long as we are willing to do our very, very, very, very best, leave it all on the floor. I love that term. Just leaving it all there. You give everything you've got. I don't think you can come away from it being disappointed or, or being, um, not satisfied because you know what you've given and if it is everything, that should be enough. I agree. I agree. So do your honest best. Uh, finally. Um, and this is the one that you brought up earlier and I think it's by far the most important one is um, understand the result is not an indication of your worth.

Chad: 43:33 Your, your preparation and circumstances outside of your control are what contributes to your success. It has nothing to do with your self worth. And how much worth you hold in this world or, or life or to your kids or to your family or to your friends or even to the people you're competing against. Um, it has nothing to do with that. It just has to do with did you prepare, did you do your best and were things going your way as luck would have it. Right. And, and so there's, those are the contributing factors. Not whether or not you're worthy of winning or losing or whatever. And I think this is, you know, I, this, this came up for me when you were talking about your kids and their excitement for your competition and that kind of stuff. And when it was directly correlated with your worth as a dad and your worth as a human and a, and an athlete, it created a lot of discontent for you. Did you ever overcome that?

Eric: 44:41 No. No. I'm still working on it, but you know, it's strange. It's now that my knees are really, really bad and they, you know, we've talked about plenty of times, so that's definitely lowered my competitiveness. Okay. I can't form like I used to. So now lease, I know my kids and others, they, you know, they, they know that. So the expectations have dropped. There's no choice. But, uh, you know, it's, it's just interesting to him, you know, for myself to learn, you know, from this and um, and, and, and re analyze everything and regroup myself as a competitor and it's hard. It's actually really hard to, you know, be on the podium and then change. It's, it's really good. It's actually a good feeling cause it, it takes away a lot of that stress that I always had. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Chad: 45:35 Learn your rights. Where I noticed this for me is, is, um, you know, if I, if I particularly have a hard time at work in my business or something like that and, and I just didn't achieve or get what I wanted or something didn't turn out, a lot of times that will permeate itself into me as a person and my worth as a, as a human being, right. And, and then everything starts to look terrible because this project at work, either I didn't get it or it didn't go as well as I want it to. All of a sudden now in my mind, I'm a, I'm a terrible father, I'm a bad husband. I don't, I'm not worthy of this love. I'm not worthy of this. The future work that's coming down the pipe, you know, all that kind of stuff. So it permeates into all of these other, which is so when you talk about it in this context, it's so nonsensical, right? It's so it's nonsense to attach these perceived failures in competition or comparison to our self worth and, and how we show up in other areas of our life. But, but it happens and it's, you know, so once we become mindful, hey, this has nothing to do with my worth as a person, it just has everything to do with my preparation and the circumstances outside my control. So next time I'm going to prepare better and hopefully luck goes my way.

Eric: 47:00 Yeah. It's like an in coaching. My wife keeps telling me all the time, you take it too personal, every cause. If and they don't succeed or they fail or they struggle, then it to me it comes back to me. Okay. It's like, what did I do wrong? What, where, when and where was my missteps? You know, and I feel genuinely bad. And she's like, don't, you know, you know, cause she can tell, you know, my mood changes. She was, oh well that's it. You know, and she's really worked with me on just saying, you cannot take this personal, you, you've, you, you know, you're wearing it on your sleeve. I can see it, you know? And so it's, it's part of it, you know, it's trying to, to balance it like everything.

Chad: 47:39 Certainly as, so those are my five ideas. I hope people, I help people find some benefit in them and I hope they ring true for a lot of people. If you have more ideas, I would love to hear from you. You can email us and, uh, the email is always get, uh, linked in the description of the podcast. I'd love to hear from me if you have more ideas around this. I think this is a great little area of study that I'm going to put more thought too, but this has been a been a fun conversation, Eric.

Eric: 48:07 No, I really, I really love that. Do your honest best. Leave me with a lot of good thoughts cause I will think about that. I really will. I think it really, really helped.

Chad: 48:19 Well thank you. Thanks for mindhacking with us today. Oh it was great and I want to thank you for joining us on this quest for optimal fitness. If you're ready to begin your own journey and live your life in Ketosis, be sure to check out biofitcoaching.com or biofit coaching on Instagram. Once again, as a reminder, that handle has changed recently. The new Instagram handle is @keto.biohacker and go ahead and get on there. There's a lot of great tips, tricks, a keto tips, all of that kind of stuff and it's a great reminder, great daily reminder to just stay on track and stay keto. Also, if this podcast has helped you in any way entertained you, we encourage you to go to iTunes or wherever you listen to your, to your podcast, give us a five star rating and a glowing review so that we can continue to grow the community care. And finally, the greatest compliment that you can give us is sharing this podcast with your friends and family, those who are looking for a different way of living, and until next time, stay keto.