What do you need to succeed with the keto lifestyle? And thinking larger, what do you really need to succeed with any goals set for 2019? The guys want to kick the new year off in style by talking about a few crucial things to make 2019 your most successful year yet!
Is anyone really self-made?
Pinpointing the cause of failure!
How support from the wrong people is worse than no support at all.
The most effective ways to keep yourself accountable.
Accountability with stakes! (not steaks)
Understanding your own reward system (i.e. your love language).
And how to redefine missteps along the way.
If actually being healthy (not just looking healthy) is one of your goals for 2019, then don't forget to stock up on bioStak! Go to bioStak.com to get yours.
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Check out our link at www.patreon.com/lifeinketosis.
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Chad: 00:00 A misstep is not a restart. The places I see people give up the most or fail the most is when they feel like they have undone what they have already done. It's a journey begins in a single step or in my case, one less piece of bread.
Chad: 00:24 My name is Chad and I'm a seeker. I've sought out an expert in the field of nutrition and fitness who I hoped would help me feel better. They call him the biohacker, but I call them Eric. I hope you'll join me in a path that leads you and I to optimal fitness, the body and the mind as we live our life in ketosis. This is the life and ketosis podcast a biohackers guide to optimal body performance.
Chad: 00:57 Hello everyone. My name is Chad and this is my quest to achieving the healthy state of being with a man that can get me there, my mentor and cohost, he's the science to my regular guy. The extreme testing too. I'll take your word for it. The biohacker himself. Mr Eric Bischof. Somewhere along this journey of ours, I realized that feeling better is really one part physical and one part mental and both are needed to achieve the optimal state of being what I call keto, happiness or ketosinesss. And today for the New Year we're talking about accountability and support. How are you eric? Good. Doing. Starting the new year. Happy New Year. Happy New Year to, to 2019. Are you? Are you in town? Out of town? I'm in town. Yep. That's good. Yup. And uh, giving a lot of things in order for the new year. I'm not much of a resolution guy because I don't, I don't put a lot of things off to, to stack up, but uh, but I definitely feel like, uh, a renewed commitment to a lot of things. It kind of gives us the new year?
Eric: 02:06 New Start. Maybe continued, uh, you know, to keep doing what you're doing. You just to kind of. I don't know, I, I do set goals for myself and I do set goals with those. I coach, but I'm not at new. I'm not big on resolutions. Usually at the first of the year, I just try to kind of do them all during the year.
Chad: 02:29 Well, that, that fits, that ties perfectly into our topic. I thought it would be very good at this point in the brand new year and we've actually done an episode similar to this. Um, in the past. It was almost a little over a year ago that we did what we talked about accountability now. And so I thought this was a perfect opportunity. What better time? Because I know that we're probably have a lot of listeners that are setting new goals or um, I know for sure you and I both got messages from people, listeners of the podcast have said, you know, I'm planning to start keto in the new year and, you know, weight loss is my goal and I'm feeling better is my goal and eating cleaner is my goal. And so, um, I thought this was a great opportunity for us to talk about how we make this venture does goal this lifestyle as success. And, um, you and I think are on the same page when we say probably the greatest definer of our success when we set goals for ourselves is, is setting up a system of accountability. For sure, for sure. I've been, I know for myself, I, there's very little things that I've been very successful at that I haven't had a good system of accountability, whether that looked formal or informal. Um, and, and I know whenever I take on a project like I'm a, uh, I'm a filmmaker. I've done film and video stuff for years and years and I know when I take on a project, uh, the greatest thing that I can do is build a team around me that has a different skillset than I have. Um, that will hold my feet to the fire things. Uh, you know, when I want to be lazy on the story or on the shots or whatever. And, and they hold my feet to the fire and say, no, this is not the way we're doing it. This, you know, we got to keep our goal in mind, that sort of stuff. So what we've done is we've put together just kind of a list of two different lists and I'm the first list that we'll talk about. We won't spend a ton of time because they don't love spending a ton of time on failure, but I do want to talk a little bit about where from our perspective and mostly from your perspective, Eric, where you see people fail in this journey of changing their lifestyle, of Diet and exercise. Um, and we've got a few points of that where we fit and then we want to move into the most effective way to make yourself accountable. When you're setting goals like this. You can, does that work? Sure does.
Chad: 05:09 Great. Yes, I love it. So one of the things that I, I wanted. Oh, go ahead. No, go ahead. You start. One of the things that I wanted to start out with is I'm addressing this idea of being self made. And that may sound a little bit weird to bring that up at this point, but, but I, I oftentimes with my coaching clients, there's, there's, um, I work a lot with entrepreneurs and very driven people. And, you know, there's a lot of different things that drive people to try to be successful in business or in relationships or any of that kind of stuff. And one of them, one of those things very, very often from my experience is people want to be self made this term. And um, that's, that's a, uh, that's something that we try to dispel really quickly from the beginning because I'm of the opinion and sometimes people don't agree with me and that's okay. We can disagree. But hear me out is I, I make the argument that nobody, not one person on this earth is self made. Um, and this goes, this goes so much deeper than just our own accomplishments, right? I, I can't be self made because somewhere along the way some pretty brave men, declared their independence from an oppressive country that allowed me an opportunity to go after anything that I want. I mean, you know, so even at that level, going that far back, I can't say I'm self made. There's a lot of amazing people who have done a lot of crazy cool things that allow now allow me to live the kind of life that I want to live or go after the things that I want to go after. And so I think it's a, I think it's very interesting for us too, and it's a Buddhist principle when we talk about this and they, they talk about the interconnection, um, we're all interconnected rather whether we realize it day in and day out, but what, what somebody did years and years ago or even yesterday made somehow made the way for us to do something today. And I think that's pretty important to think about as we think about, you know, being successful in resolutions and goals and that kind of stuff is don't be afraid to build upon what others have created or what others have done in the past or don't be afraid to look to others for help.
Eric: 07:43 Do you think a lot of that comes from, you know, a lot of the people that you work with, the entrepreneurs. Do you think, you know about a personality being ego driven? Wanted to make sure that you're, you are the one that did it by your own efforts, your own, you know, sacrifice and your decisions and actions and not allowing others to be part of it because it's, you know, kind of an ego driven type of, um, uh, adventure maybe.
Chad: 08:15 Yeah, I do think there's a bit of that for sure. I, I, you know, I love the saying and it's, it's overused probably, but, uh, um, all ships rise in a rising tide. All ships rise with the tide. I love that saying because it's exactly what I'm talking about is if we're all included in the success, if we recognize those who have provided a way for us to do things or if we reach out for help and allow other people into our process of success, then we raise. We rise together. Yeah. Rather than this, this idea or facade that we're rising alone and we did it all right. And, uh, and it's for me in times that I've had seen success in projects or personally or whatever, it's always been so much more gratifying when I realized that we did it together with other people involved, whether it's a coach, whether it's a partner, a mentor, um, those who have gone before us historically or you know, any of that kind of stuff. And so I think you're right. I think there is some ego there. Um, but I, I also think, you know, how, why not, why not bring as many people up with us as we can. I agree.
Chad: 09:35 So I wanted to dispel that. I don't think any of us are self made. So if you're considering changing your lifestyle to a Keto lifestyle, you're changing your diet, you're changing your movement habits and all of that kind of stuff. I would really consider as we talk about these things, building a team for yourself, um, and that can look a million different ways. And we're going to talk a little bit about that, but really build a team for yourself. Get people on your side at people who have knowledge that you don't have, people who have skills that you don't have, people who aren't afraid to keep you accountable. And we're going to talk a little bit more about that.
Chad: 10:16 So should we dive into where we fail? Yeah, let's do that. Well, that's a perfect transition. Yeah, there's a that's a perfect transition in my mind because the first, the first point that we have on our list is trying to do this in a silo. And, and what we mean by that is, is doing it alone. I'm trying to, you know, we, a lot of times we think we don't want to inconvenience other people or if we involve other people in the process, that's scary because what if we fail? I think that's the biggest reason that people do this alone and in a closet or in a silo. Um, I don't know. What have you seen Erica as, as people? Um, I mean, obviously if they're coming to you for coaching, they're not, they're not doing it alone. So they're automatically out of that camp and your success rate is a lot higher. Have you, have you had clients come to you that tried to do it alone?
Eric: 11:13 Yeah, of course. And a lot of them have no, they have no choice in the beginning because, you know, some of them are alone. Okay. And they don't know how to incorporate others to to help them in their journey and they don't have people volunteering to help them, uh, in their, they don't know what resources, they just don't have it. And so I as a coach of course is in totally involved with it. So, so actually, you know, and those that have the, you know, friends or a spouse or a partner or whatever, also on the same journey, it's amazing how, uh, you know, success begins to start early on. Uh, but those that have to go silo and a lot of them, there's those that just want to do it alone and they're, they're almost like competing with others, are not willing to, to join in with others. Just want to show others that you know, that you know, they can do it alone by themselves and they don't need any help and sometimes they don't even need a coach and I have to kind of break that barrier a little bit. Like, Hey, I'm not, I'm not Mr know it all telling you what to do in order knew what to do. I'm here to help you instead of. It just seems like that even if you know people in businesses, a lot of those people, like that's where the term came from. I remember hearing a long time ago where people just didn't want to work together. Yeah. They just wanted to battle each other. It seems like,
Chad: 12:52 right. It's, it can be a lonely place and it's. And it's often, often, I would say more often than not an unsuccessful place. Yeah. I'm sure you may reach the goal you thought you wanted to reach, which might be weight loss or you know, athletic goals are way race winning, but it's even those moments of winning can be very lonely. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So the next one is, uh, the next place that we see people fail a lot is setting the wrong goals or the, uh, an unhelpful goals. I don't, I don't like wrong because I don't want to shame anybody, but we really, it's really important if we're, if we're a goal setting type where we're like, here's my goal, I'm going to reach this or I want to, I'm going to work towards this goal and here's the things that, you know, we map it out towards that. I love that. I do love goal setting. Um, however, I think we have a large misunderstanding of what a goal is in our society. Um, in a lot of goals are set, and we've talked about this before eric, but a lot of goals are set on things that are outside of our control. Like even, you know, losing a certain number of pounds is actually outside of our control and, and sets you up for a lot of disappointment. All of our bodies metabolize different. All of our bodies are shaped different. Our muscle mass is different and it's written in our DNA a lot of times. And when we set a goal of like, Hey, I'm going to reach this weight, or I'm gonna lose this many pounds, or I'm going to lift this much, or I'm gonna, you know, whatever, um, I can see the word that's coming from a good place. But unfortunately that's often set setting you up for a disappointment or, or, or what seems to you as failure. You don't reach that exact numbers. Exactly. Have you seen this in your practice?
Eric: 14:58 Yes. Yes, for sure. And I think the hardest part about it is in, in coaching, it's the realistic part of looking at your goals. Remember a lot of people, you know, spent 20, 30 years in, you know, in a very unhealthy lifestyle. And Yeah, they may have metabolic syndrome they have, they have diabetes, they're, they're obese. And, and it's, it's really tough to say, yes, we're going to start this lifestyle, but four weeks into it, eight weeks into it, they're, you know, they're making the changes, they're changing their nutrition and, and they're working out and doing things that they really never really concentrated on, but they're not seeing the results. And it's, it's so hard, you know, as a coach and you know, just those that are supporting those that are doing it to try to say, hey, you know, give it some time, you know, we can't have this eight, 12 week a complete turnaround. Yeah, just a, you know, a piece at a time, a step at a time, just a little bit of success in all along the way. And, and, and, and most, you know, learn this as they're being coached. You know, we were just taking small little steps at a time. Yeah. Yeah. It gets disappointing for a lot of people because they really want to speed this up.
Chad: 16:21 And I think that's where we set ourselves up for the possibility of what we feel like is failure. So for me, combating this, so you know, a lot of people probably listening to this in going, okay, well this is kind of contradictory to what I've always heard that, you know, goals are healthy, goals are we need to set goals, Yada, Yada, Yada. And I, I still agree we should set goals, but our goals should be something that is completely. Well, I can't say completely mostly within our control, right? So for me, the way this looks and how I really try to train and teach my clients how to set goals is, is identifying what it is that contributes to the desired result, which used to be your old goal, right? Your desired result is I want to get down to this weight or I want to, um, I want to lift this amount of weight, or I want to, I don't know, I don't know, whatever that is.
Chad: 17:19 So look at that and then look the things that are within your control that we're, that will most likely get you there and make those, your goal. So for me, it's every single day I'm here on my macro goals, right? Here's my keto macro goals and I have complete control. For the most part, I got to stop saying complete. I have, I have mostly have a control over what I put into my body, right? And so I can make sure that I can reach those goals. Also with, with exercise or movement. For me, I'm a four times a week guy and so I have a rule that if I didn't work out yesterday, I have to work out today, which ultimately ends up on average giving me four days of workout a week and um, and so my goal is four times a week I will move and that's very much within my control now. It's not within my control how my body might react to that workout now. Usually it's really great and I, and I do come close to what my ideal weight would be or what my ideal, you know, reps would be or whatever that is. But really I'm setting goals on things that are complete or that I'm setting goals on things that are within my control that contribute to the ultimate desired results.
Eric: 18:54 Yes. You know, chad how could you, you know, you got your four workouts, you've got your macros. Now how bendable are you? So let's say that your workouts planned in the morning and all of a sudden something came up with the family or something came up at work, all of a sudden that workout cannot be performed. At that time, so as a backup, how, how good are you, you know, keeping control of that for workout. Are you going to do it in the evening when you get home late, tired from work, are you going to try to do it at a lunchtime, you know, where, where do you stand on, on that, you know, basically being dedicated. Like you're saying you're in control of, of your goal. Where are you when something gets in the way, you put it off to another day. Okay. That's amiss. No, no backup plan, you know, it, it knocked me out of my schedule, you know, so some people really get really rigid and, and I was that way but very rigid and if somebody just knocked me a half an hour late for my workout or my trail run or whatever I'm doing, my wife tried to say, Hey, just just relax, just chill. You know, it's not that big of a deal. You'll, you'll get it in the afternoon.
Chad: 20:12 Yeah, absolutely. And, and I see that and, and I've, I've had to learn the same lesson over the years is flexibility, helps a lot. And this actually ties in very nicely. You queued up the last principle that we're going to talk about when we talk about effective ways to make yourself accountable, which is don't see a misstep as a restart. And um, there's an element of shame that we carry with us that we try to, as humans, we try to attach shame to pretty much everything we do. And so, um, I'm just going to give you a couple of little tips to try to keep shame out of the equation. And that's a big part of it in um, you know, that as you're talking about, you know, something throwing you off schedule or being rigid or whatever that kind of stuff is. A lot of times those things are, I don't know what your experiences, but for me, a lot of times that's met with a lot of shame, oh, you're so stupid, you can't do this. You're not going to be successful, Yada, Yada, Yada. All of those sorts of things. And so we'll talk a little bit that will wrap the conversation up with that is like, don't see missteps as a restart. You can just see them for what they are as, as a stumble or a misstep, and you're not starting over. You're, you're just continuing where you left off. You Bet. Um, and so, uh, the other, the next principle that we talked about where people fail is I'm enlisting the wrong people onto your team or enlisting the wrong people into your achievement process. Um, this is, I see this a lot when I'm working with my clients who have business partners or spouses and they have enlisted them to keep them accountable, but they don't work well together. Um, whether, you know, whether the accountability that they keep is, um, it bothers the person and doesn't work for them or they're too rigid or they're too, you know, all of those sorts of things. And a lot of times they're just there as accountability partners, uh, by default. And this can be very detrimental if you have the wrong person in place. And Eric, I've even heard you say, you know, my coaching is not for everyone, but it is for some people for sure. And it's the perfect fit for some people. And, and I love that, I love the sentiment of that because really that means, you know, make sure your accountability partner, your coach or mentor, make sure they're the right fit and, and make sure that they understand what you need in a moment of weakness or misstep to get you back on track.
Eric: 23:01 Yes, for sure. For sure. Yeah. And I have to deal with that on a daily basis. So I'm always, you know, it, it's great when, when, when somebody, you know, and when I'm coaching people on and they've got the right people, you know, by their side that right, we're working with and it, it, it makes a lot easier for me, uh, because, because they have that and if they don't then then I've got to figure out how to, to, to take care of that for them. And so it puts a little more pressure on me. I'm more thought a lot more thought. Yeah. As far as a coach for sure.
Chad: 23:40 Absolutely. And the last one that we outlined is the level of commitment we fail. We fail at the level of commitment every single time if we are failing. So I'm not going to go into too much detail. In fact, we could do probably do an entire episode on commitment, keeping our commitments. How do we identify a weak to a strong commitment? Um, and I'll, and we've heard it over and over again. I know we have, I know you've heard it over and over again. I know our listeners have heard it over again, the greatest indicator of whether we have a weak commitment or not is in the details.
Eric: 24:18 Yes. I mean, I, it's not, you know, I'm the big knowledge equals power and you know, and that's one of my downtime I think in coaching is because if I can get their belief up and get their doubts down and they know why they're committing to this and you know, basically getting to the health of it and you know, that's a little. My weakness is getting into a little too deep. So they actually develop a testimony basically what they found. And it makes your commitment so much easier if you really understand why. But that's a whole other podcast.
Chad: 24:56 Yeah. No, I think it's, I think it's very, very applicable here is, you know, the more we're willing to get detailed about what we're going to do and why we're doing it, the greater our commitment for sure for sure. Um, you know, with, with, with proximity comes our ability to commit and, and our, our willingness. So the closer we come to something, the more we know about it, the more we understand it, the more we get committed to it. That's, that's the, that's the truth with exercise diet. It's the truth with people. Relationships. I always tell people, you know, as I'm coaching them or, or helping them through a work relationship that's, that's exhausted or that's a, that's draining. I let them know, hey, the more you can get to know this person and see them as a human, um, and in a complex integral human with history and a story and all that kind of stuff, the more you can give them space and commit to them to, to a, a good working relationship. And I think that's true across the board. And so I love that you love that. You brought that up. Is is knowing the details and understanding them for sure.
Chad: 26:15 So let's, uh, if you don't mind, let's take a quick break. Let's talk about bioStak and then we're gonna jump into a, the most effective ways to make yourself accountable. Does that work? Sure does. Okay, great. So bioStak. BioStak it's the new year. This is a new opportunity for you to jump in full into keto, lifestyle, movement, all of that kind of stuff. And bioStak is the way to all of the pieces come together. Why is bioStak helping people bring all of these pieces of movement and Diet? Not a diet, but their diet, their nutritional plan. Why is it helping everything come together?
Eric: 26:59 No matter how, you know, a lot of us are different in and how, like we talked about in one of our, just our last podcast on how nutrient dense we go. Okay. Individually, we're all different. Okay. So what's, what's. What's so strong about the bioStak is it picks up where you leave off as far as what you have eaten. Okay? So it's always there to take care of the backup. So were you remember, we're back to this, you know, the free radical production, reactive oxygen species, we are back to the inflammation and every one of our bodies has, has these issues. Every one of our cells, every one of our mitochondria are going to be creating these free radicals. Some of us eat really well where nutrient dense and we're on top of it. But what's exciting about the bioStak, it's always there, you know, as a backup to just fill in those spaces that you're missing. Okay? And it's such a great way to start the new year. It's just like a reset. And, and that's what's exciting about the bioStak because it's and what we're all, we're all, we're all about longevity. We're all about having great energy. We're all about, you know, not getting chronic illnesses and diseases where we're, we're, you know, that's at the top of our, our, our minds, you know, most of the time. And, and the bioStak is just a partner with you on, you know, what you're eating and doing your, your movement. They all work together.
Chad: 28:28 Yeah. And this, I mean, this goes great with our conversation right now. You're right. Now in the new year, you're setting these goals. You're thinking about how you're going to commit or recommit to a certain nutritional plan, a certain exercise plan. All of this is only going to help with energy, with focus, with nutrition, with all of those sorts of all of those things, Eric, just even as you talk, it picks up the slack and do yourself a favor. Go to biostak.com. See how good you can feel. I promise you you will not be sorry. Set a goal. Set a goal right now that when you're done listening to this podcast or while you're listening to this podcast, go to biostak.com. Learn more about it and see if it can work for you. See how good you can feel. All right, let's jump back in.
Chad: 29:19 So let's, uh, let's talk about effective ways to make ourselves accountable. And some of these might feel a little bit repetitive because obviously we just listed out a list of where we fail. Now we're going to talk about where we get, where we become successful, and so they're going to be kind of correlating back and forth, so stick with us, um, and, and see what you can get out of this. I'm really excited about getting some of these ideas out here to our listeners. So let's talk about. So we talked about ineffective goals, which are things that are outside of our control. Now let's talk about really quick successful goals and I think we already did a little bit but getting really, really specific on these goals. And that's where I say, you know, successes in the details. Success is when we understand things and we know very, very clearly what we're committing to and when they're things that are for the most part within our control. So those are really the personnel are, those are really the, the traits of a, of a goal that's achievable is when it's clearly defined. You know the details, you know exactly what you're committing to and it's within your control. Those three things. So keep those in mind as you set your goals. Now, let's talk about identifying the right person to hold you accountable. Um, uh, you know, social media is good, but, uh, it's not personal and it's not a, you know, it's not face to face, it's not, it's not one to one and you can easily opt out of it at any moment. You could take off. So I would never discourage anybody from making themselves accountable on social media. I think that's a great supplement to a, to real accountability or, or one to one accountability, but you've got to have, in my opinion, and Eric, I'd love to hear your opinion on this, but you really need to have that one to one relationship with somebody who is the right person for you.
Chad: 31:32 And when I say the right person for you, they've got to. You've got to be able to work in a feedback loop together. Well, and what a feedback loop is, is, um, is, I mean it's just exactly what it sounds like if like with my clients, with my coaching clients and I'm sure you have the same sort of thing or I know you have the same sort of thing or um, with your macro checking and your weekly calls and all of that kind of stuff is that we have a dedicated time where we both come to a space where they're, if I'm coaching or I'm mentoring or I'm an accountability partner, they're ready for feedback and I'm ready to give it. And we have previously discussed the most healthy way for them to hear feedback. So I have a, I literally have a conversation with them and say, okay, you know yourself best, how do you best here feedback so that it's productive rather than devastating. Yeah. And, and it gives them an opportunity to say, you know, I, I, I really do better if, you know, people say it this or do it this way or that sort of thing. Or I can give them options of different ways that I felt comfortable giving feedback. And they can choose one that fits best for them, um, but creating a safe space and a dedicated time for feedback does wonders. Yes. Right. So this is, this is why I really discouraged spouses to be accountability partners.
Eric: 33:03 Well, you know, in, in, in like, oh, you have the dedicated feedback is you know, everybody needs, you know, even as a coach and you know, they need the freedom to question, you know, they need that free to ask anything. Communication, the good, the bad, the ugly, whatever, you know, without judgment, you know, you're, you're going to listen, you know, without making a judgment basically to, to open up the communication. You know, right now really it, it, it works. It really does work. The spouse, I agree with that. Most spouses just say you're doing great. All good. No, no, you're fine.
Chad: 33:48 It could go either way, right? They can either do that or they can be hyper hypersensitive. And the feedback loop never has a dedicated time. No. And in a safe space, it's just like we're together all the time or, or, or a good majority of the time. So I'm just going to give you feedback whenever we're together or when you pick up that thing. I know you're not supposed to be eating or you know, whatever. And um, and it, it oftentimes, I mean there's some people that totally make it work and uh, and I'll tell you right now, I enlist my wife Katie a lot, some of my accountability things, but I know there are certain things that I, that I want to be held accountable that I'm not going to be able to take from her very well. So I find someone outside of our relationship to be my accountability partner, my coach, my mentor, Whatever. So that they can. I know that, that I will be able to accept the feedback that there wasn't.
Eric: 34:48 I call it, you call it a goal partner. I, I do it all the time and my kids always call me out on it because when I'm racing, if I'm doing a spartan or triathlon and whatever, I always recruit a partner. Okay. And it's actually my daughter, she's, she, I recruited her for an Ironman and we trained together. I recruited for Spartan. We trained together, we've raced together, my wife, I recruited her in a lot of races and friends of mine and it just, it hit really when you pull the trigger, I call it with somebody else, it really makes you accountable and if you go, like you talked about the Internet, even if you go public with it, really, if you make it public then you're really got some accountability because now are not just you and your inner circle. Know there's other saying, you know, Oh, is he gonna he's gonna fulfill that goal or is he going to quit or give up along the way? So sometimes making it public, I hate to say sometimes it's a motivator. It keeps you accountable for my clients. I like to see their stuff on instagram or something. It's just Kinda, you know, like commit you.
Chad: 36:04 I 100 percent agree. Absolutely. Um, you know, there's a, the next thing I wanted to talk about in, in the most effective ways to make yourself accountable. I W I learned a principal years ago that I've used a few different times when I really, really wanted to achieve something that I knew was going to have the possibility of being difficult and that is creating stakes. Uh, uh, so I, I, I've seen the penalties are exactly so I make, I artificially increased the stakes, which is, it can be a fun game to play, but it can also be incredibly motivating and I've seen a lot of cool things happen with people. My clients, myself, colleagues, business partners that have done, have used this same practice. Now it's, I will say it's not for everybody and it needs to be done within reason, right? You can, you could get a little out there with this and I really encourage you to keep it reined in, but it can be really, really fun. And it can also be very motivating. So what I mean by artificially creating stakes is. So say there's something that I'll use. This example is probably not the most healthy marriage example, but say there's something in your marriage or your relationship or, or with your significant other that they've really wanted you to do for a long time and you just don't want to do it. Uh, maybe that's go to the ballet or something like that. I don't know, I'll just throw that out there. That's not personal at all. But, um, you know, maybe they want you to go to this, to this ballet or something and you just do not want to go. You've been fighting it for years. Now you've got a big goal in front of you. I, I, it's really effective sometimes to say, alright, here's my goal, here's what I'm going to do. I want to, I want to practice keto, nutrition and movement and I want, you know, strict keto nutrition and I want movement four times a week. Those are my goals because my ultimate desires to be here and I know that's what can get me there. So those are my goals. If I don't do it, I will take you to that ballet.
Chad: 38:33 Right? And you have to evaluate the stakes are high enough for, for the goal. And, and I've done this in the past and I've made sure that, you know, it was really something I, I've had business partners who have given me $150 and said, okay, if I don't meet my goal, I want you to donate this $150 in my name to this cause that I just don't believe in that I just, it's just so beyond me and I don't understand it. I don't like it, but I want you to. I want you to donate it to this clause in my name if I don't reach my goal, but if I do reach my goal, you have to give me the $150 back. Huge motivator, right? Not only are you going to lose $150, but you're also going to have this money donated to a cause that you just, that you despise if you don't reach your goal. And uh, so that this can be done a million different ways, but creating stakes that are harmless but are still meaningful to you. It can be a great way to keep yourself accountable.
Eric: 39:46 That makes it really makes me laugh because I'm constantly getting accused of always betting and it's not that I'm betting. It's always say, Hey, I forget who can get to this hill faster. You. I called. I actually have it. I call it the pain penalty that I do with myself and all my trainings that if I don't reach a certain heart rate, I don't reach a certain average or whatever the speed is. Then I have to add on 10 more minutes so I have to add in a penalty and it's using a painful pay, a penalty, so I make it to be able to move very, and I've done this with people at coach and I tried it with my wife and it backfired. Pain penalty stuff on getting her faster and trainings and so. But it works for me. It really does. When I know that I set myself that might create the stake and I, okay, here I go. If I don't, I don't reach it, then I'm not done. I got, I got to do this extra and it. It does. It's a motivator that worked for me and I don't coach it too much because it backfired with my wife. It did not work
Chad: 40:54 It de motivated her. Nope. I think that's an important point obviously to make, and I think we've been making it this whole time, is that not one thing works for everybody and so you really got to play with this. You've really got to set this up in a way that will work for you and that that brings me great into the next point, which is understanding our own reward system. Each of us have of. We're wired different to appreciate a different type of reward and I don't know if you've ever read it, Eric, but there's a book called the five love languages and
Eric: 41:31 I haven't read that. I know little bit about the five, of language.
Chad: 41:36 Yeah. Basically the premise of the book, and I, I tend to really agree, I think it's pretty brilliant, is that we all experience love in a different way in a different language or whether that's physical touch, whether that's words of affirmation, gift giving, you know, all of that kind of stuff. And once we understand our love language and those who are trying to show us love, understand our love language, then they can express that to us in a way that we understand, right? It's just, it's the exact same as, you know, if I'm going to go to France, I want to know a little bit of French so I can ask for a baguette. I don't know if that one's very stereotypical, but a same sort of thing is that if we want to show people love, we can understand what their love language is and then we can show it to them in that, in that language. And our rewards are exactly the same. We have a reward language that speaks most to us. And so, um, whether that is words of affirmation or whether that is a physical reward or gift or, you know, all of that kind of stuff. Understanding and owning that and allowing your accountability partner into that process or into that language can go a really long way. Hey, you know, it doesn't, when I achieve this really big goal, you know, it doesn't do much for me to, for you to say good job, but what really helps me as you know, I don't know, posting on social media about how proud of me you are and, and having that public recognition or something like that. And oftentimes we're very afraid to ask for those sorts of things. But it's, it's, it's actually a sign of strength in both your relationship with your accountability partner and in yourself to recognize those things and ask for them and to notice that what you're doing is a big deal. It's, it's awesome that you're doing it. And, uh, you shouldn't be afraid to ask for the type of reward that you want to be able to reach this goal. So I'm understanding your reward system or your reward language is huge.
Eric: 43:51 Imagine what if he can, you know, what makes people tick? I mean, it really is. It's tough to, you know, in marriages you're still trying to figure it out and, and it's really comes down to a lot of this simple stuff. Not Simple, but very, very easy to understand.
Chad: 44:16 Yeah. Yeah. And, and like I've said in the past, it, it is simple. It's not easy. Right? And those, those aren't mutually exclusive are, those are, those are different, those are totally different when we talk about things being simpler, being easy,
Eric: 44:33 it's like my wife, affirmation does so much more than gifts, gifts. I mean, that's easier. It's, it's, it means a lot more to her. Just support and affirmation is huge. And, and you know, time and things like that. There's different things, but it's just, you know, when you can actually cue into that, it changes things.
Chad: 44:56 Yeah, absolutely. All right. Finally, we're going to bring this full circle. We started out here as you talked about, um, you know, how do you stay motivated or what do you do when you misstep? And I just wanted to leave this conversation with helping people understand that a misstep is not a restart. The places I see people give up the most or fail the most is when they feel like they have undone what they have already done. Does that make sense? When they have, when they have a moved backwards or they feel like they have to restart or all of that kind of stuff. And I, I really want to encourage people to just notice that's not logical. You're not restarting. You're not starting from the beginning. You're not climbing the whole mountain again unless you get, allow yourself to get really discouraged and go all the way back there.
Chad: 45:55 But a small one day or one meal or even two days or a weekend misstep is not a restart. Correct. Pick it right back up where you were and keep going and know that. Here's the other thing is I'm really big into, into realistic expectations. If you enter these goals, if you entered these lifestyles, these nutrition lifestyles, these movement, nice styles, if you enter into them expecting now, this is counterintuitive to what most people have been taught. If you go into these expecting to miss step along the way, it will not upset you as much as it would if you expect to go into it. Perfect. Yeah. Expect the missteps. Make a plan, get back on course. You're good to go. Don't look at it as a restart. Don't look, don't, don't allow. Shame into the process. Keep Shame at bay. It has no, it has no use in this process. Um, and just understand. You will mess up everybody. Missed steps. Just pick it up where you left off.
Eric: 47:02 I couldn't say it better because I have to say it a lot before because you know, they scale out or whatever. And everything is so tough because everything is judged mainly in keto by pounds lost. Okay. Now, most of the people that are into Keto body composition change, there's those that are really healthy, really fit and really, you know, for, you know, whatever, you know for this, for the therapeutic value of it, but anytime people, you know, they take a few pounds off and a scale out or they put a few pounds back on, it's like failure. Like, oh my gosh, I'm starting all over. No, you're not. You didn't eat 77,000 calories to put two pounds of fat back on. That did not happen. That's impossible. You're always dealing with these, these little setbacks and they're not. It's just part of the course. It's just part of the course. Yeah.
Chad: 47:56 Yeah, absolutely. Well, this has been great. I think this is a good conversation obviously to have at this point and I really hope it's encouraging to people and that they've been able to take away some principles that will allow them to find the accountability they need, but also be that for other people. I think that's the final point I want to make is yes, we're all looking for help and accountability, but we need to be that for others as well and be willing to jump into the process with them and be a good accountability partner, giving them the praise they need, giving them the risk reward system that they want, giving them dedicated feedback, uh, opportunities, all of that kind of stuff. So I think this has been great. Thanks so much for biohacking with us today Eric.
Chad: 48:42 and I want to thank you for joining us on this quest for optimal fitness. If you're ready to begin your own journey and live your life in Ketosis, be sure to check out biofitcoaching.com or biofit coaching on instagram, the handles @biofit_coaching. Lots of really good resources there. Also, if this podcast has helped you or entertain you in any way, go to itunes or wherever you get your podcasts and consider leaving us a five star rating and a review. That way we can reach more people and, uh, and build this keto community that we've been building. Also, the greatest compliment that you can give us is sharing the podcast with your friends, your family, those who need it the most, those who are looking for a different way of living. And until next, stay keto.